


The Fifth Way

by Hoplite39



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Complete, Control Ending (Mass Effect), Destroy Ending (Mass Effect), Drama, Gen, Ghosts, Refuse Ending, Science Fiction, Supernatural Elements, Synthesis Ending (Mass Effect), alternative ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29656866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoplite39/pseuds/Hoplite39
Summary: When Shepard is on the Citadel at the end of ME3, the Catalyst tells her to choose from four bad options. But on that fateful Halloween night, another ghostly image of the hooded young boy appears before her and offers to reveal the truth about the Catalyst, the Crucible and the Reapers. Will Shepard discover a fifth way to end the Reaper threat?
Relationships: Female Shepard & Ashley Williams, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Defying the Catalyst

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN MASS EFFECT. THIS IS JUST FOR FUN.

THE FIFTH WAY

Chapter 1 - Defying the Catalyst

Wounded and helpless, Shepard limped slowly along the pathway.

She was in the Citadel. She had witnessed the death of Andersen and conversed with the entity called the Catalyst. Now she would have to make a choice that would determine the fate of the whole galaxy.

She stopped at the intersection where the path divided into three. With bitterness and resignation in her eyes, she turned to look back at the holographic image of the Catalyst. Shepard fleetingly wondered to herself why the catalyst had taken that particular form to converse with her. Why the form of the boy whose death she had witnessed during the initial Reaper attack on Vancouver? Why him? Why a boy she hardly knew? Why not Ash? Or Morden? Or Thane? Or some other person she loved and respected? It didn't make sense.

Shepard turned back and shrugged her shoulders. She realised that it didn't really matter in the end what form the Catalyst took. All that mattered was that she had to stop the Reapers in the best way she could. With reluctance, Shepard turned her attention to the choices before her.

She could go to the right and fire on the explosive tank with her pistol. The Catalyst promised that this would destroy the Reapers. However, Shepard also learned that it would also destroy the Geth and EDI. After all the Geth and EDI had done for her, it was a sacrifice Shepard did not wish to make.

Shepard looked to the blue control panel on the left. If she activated it, she would be able to control the Reapers. She could order them to stop their attacks immediately, thus ending the war at a stroke. Her physical body would cease to be, but she could end the threat of the Reapers in the galaxy by keeping them under her control. She could ensure they would do no more harm and command them to help with the reconstruction.

She turned her attention to the vertical stream of green light before her. She could leap into the green light and activate the synthesis process . The Catalyst had suggested that this would be the optimal solution, somehow combining organics and synthetics into one, thus ending the need for the Reaper cycle. It would kill her, but bring lasting peace to the galaxy.

Finally, there was the fourth option. To reject the Catalyst's offer and let the Reaper war continue. Shepard knew defeat was inevitable in that case. She would have to hope that future civilisations may find a way to defeat the Reapers from the data that Liara had hidden in secret locations around the galaxy. But that would not help those in the current civilisation. It would condemn Shepard's companions, loved ones and allies to an existence of hopelessness, terror and, ultimately, extinction.

Shepard closed her eyes and shook her head in resignation. This was not the way she hoped it would end. She really hoped that the crucible would be a weapon that would allow them to definitively defeat the Reapers in some way. But the only choices available involved keeping the Reapers in existence or killing a whole synthetic species. These were not good choices at all.

After a moment's thought, Shepard decided to go for synthesis. It seemed the best way to end the war and bring lasting peace to the galaxy, even though she did not truly understand all its consequences. It seemed the best of four bad choices.

Hesitantly Shepard took a step forward towards the green beam of light.

Suddenly, the transparent ghostly shape of the young boy appeared in front of her, blocking her way to the synthesis light stream. He smiled at her.

"Please don't do that." Said the boy gently.

Shepard looked at the boy in confusion. After the Catalyst had spent so much effort persuading her to choose synthesis, she didn't understand why he was now standing in her way. Was he playing games with her? Was this all a joke?

"What are you doing?" Shepard frowned in annoyance. "I thought this is what you wanted."

The boy shook his head. "Look behind." Was all the boy said.

Shepard's frown of irritation turned to one of curiosity. She did as the boy said and turned to look behind her. To her surprise the holographic form of the Catalyst was still standing where she had left it. It was calmly waiting for her to make her choice.

Shepard turned her attention back to the transparent young boy in front of her. At first, she thought it was another holographic image generated by the Catalyst. But then she realised that the entity was different. It was slightly more white in colour. It was slightly more detailed. It had more substance to it. And, in a strange way, it felt slightly more real.

For a moment, Shepard thought she was going mad, possibly from the stress and anxiety she was going through at that moment. But something told her that there was more to this apparition than a simple hallucination.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"Shepard? Who are you talking to?" She heard the Catalyst say from behind her.

At that moment, Shepard realised that the Catalyst could not see or hear the apparition in front of her. Shepard knew that the Catalyst was in her mind. So it only meant one thing. The ghostly entity in front of her was external to herself. It originated from somewhere else. It was not in her mind or linked to the Catalyst. And it did not exist in the physical world.

"What are you?" Whispered Shepard.

The boy in front of her smiled and held out his hand.

"Take my hand and you will see?"

When Shepard had spoken to the Catalyst, she had felt nothing from it. Just the cold arrogance of a lifeless machine. But the ghostly entity in front of her was different. She sensed a strong wave of empathy and gentleness emanating from it. It was like she could feel the warmth of its soul.

"Shepard. Why have you stopped?" The electronic voice of the Catalyst said from behind her. "Who are you talking to?"

For a moment, Shepard pondered what to do. But as she looked on the boy in front of her, her instinct told her she should trust him.

"Shepard!" Said the voice behind her more insistently. "You must choose!"

Shepard ignored the Catalyst. Instead, she reached out her hand to the child in front of her. The boy smiled and took her hand in his. Shepard's head was immediately filled with a blinding light. But it was not an unpleasant experience. She felt herself floating. She felt her mind drift gently into unconsciousness

And then Shepard's body collapsed to the floor of the Citadel.


	2. The boy

CHAPTER 2 - THE BOY

When Shepard awoke, she was lying in a forest clearing.

She sat up and found the young boy sitting beside her, stoking a small fire with a stick. This time, he was now in solid form. He had lost the ghostly transparency she had seen in the Citadel.

"Where am I?" She asked.

"Do you not recognise the wood?" The boy replied with a smile.

Shepard looked around and recognised where she was. She was in the forest where she had seen the boy in her dreams. But whereas in her dreams she experienced everything in a slow-motion haze, this time it all looked and felt real. The birds were singing in the trees and she felt a breeze caress the skin on her face. She looked down and briefly inspected herself. She was wearing undamaged clothes and all her wounds were healed.

"Is this a dream?" She asked.

"Of sorts." The boy replied.

"Am I dead?" She asked. "Or about to die?"

"Oh, no." The boy grinned at her mischievously. "You are not dead."

"Who are you? Are you the Catalyst?"

The boy shook his head and laughed. "No. I'm not the catalyst."

"Then who or what are you?"

"I am the boy you helped in Vancouver." He said. "Don't you remember?"

"Of course, I remember him." Shepard frowned. "I saw him die."

The bog shrugged and put some more twigs on the fire.

"What are you then?" Shepard asked. "A hallucination? A memory? A projection?"

"No. I am none of these things?"

"Well, what then?" A slight sign of irritation was now creeping into Shepard's voice.

After a brief pause, the boy answered. "Do you know what day it is today?"

Shepard thought for a moment. "It's the 31 October." She stated confidently. "And what's the significance of that?"

"It's Halloween." Said the boy. "It's the day when ghosts come out."

Shepard looked at the boy for a moment. Then she burst out laughing.

"So you are a ghost then?" Said Shepard.

The boy didn't answer. He just shrugged.

"So why would a ghost appear to me?" She asked.

The boy's smile disappeared. He looked at her with a serious expression. "To help you against the Reapers. To help you find the truth."

Shepard laughed again and shook her head in disbelief.

The boy looked away from her. "You don't believe me, do you?" He said disconsolately.

"You have to understand." Shepard smirked. "The idea that you are a ghost is very hard to believe."

"Yet, you believe the Catalyst?" Asked the boy.

The boy's words caused Shepard to reflect on her situation. A disturbing thought entered Shepard's head. Why did she believe everything the Catalyst said? The Catalyst was nothing more than a hologram generated by her enemies to communicate with her. Why should she believe that any more than the young boy beside her?

Shepard considered the boy a moment. He spoke and acted very much like the young boy she had met in Vancouver. He was very different from the Catalyst. The Catalyst was cold and mechanical. It showed no emotion or feeling. It just expected to be obeyed and believed. But the boy beside her appeared acted like a real person.

Shepard didn't know whether the boy was really a ghost or not. Or whether he was just a figment of her imagination. But he had brought her to this place, wherever that was, and claimed he wanted to help. For the moment, Shepard decided to play along and give him the benefit of the doubt. She had nothing to lose.

"What's your name?" Shepard asked the boy.

"Casey." He answered.

"It's nice to meet you Casey."

The boy smiled.

"Now, Casey." Shepard said softly. "Why did you bring me here?"

"So we can talk without the Catalyst hearing us."

Shepard nodded. That did make sense.

"And how can you help me?" She asked him.

"You are looking for a way to destroy the Reapers without sacrificing yourself or your friends." Said the boy. "I know a way."

"But the Catalyst did not give me that choice." Shepard frowned.

"No." Said the boy. "It is not one of the four solutions the Catalyst is permitted to offer you. But it can be done. There is a fifth way."

"How do you know all this?" Asked Shepard.

"When they Reapers used my image in their Catalyst program tonight, my spirit was able to enter their system. I know everything about them."

Shepard still felt sceptical about the ghost story. But she decided to go along with it for the moment.

"And why do you want to help me?" Asked Shepard.

"Is that not obvious?" Said the boy. "The Reapers killed me. They killed my family. They are destroying Earth. They are using me to trick you."

"Yes I suppose you are right." Said Shepard, feeling a little stupid.

"In the end, I help you because I want to." The boy gave a sly smile. "And because I can."

Shepard nodded. She couldn't dispute his arguments. She found it completely convincing that the boy's ghost would want to help her. Assuming of course, ghosts actually existed.

"Does the Catalyst know you are there?" Asked Shepard.

"No." Replied Casey. "They know nothing of my presence. Or what I know. I am hidden to them."

"And why can I see you then, if you are inside their system?" Asked Shepard.

"Your mind is linked to the Catalyst. You can see me because you are human. And because you have met me when I was alive. And because I let you."

Shepard nodded. The concept that there was a ghost living inside the Catalyst machine was something that Shepard found difficult to accept. But she was willing to try anything if it there was a chance of definitively defeating the Reapers.

"So how can we defeat the Catalyst?" Asked Shepard.

"I can possess the Catalyst." The boy replied. "Then you can activate the fifth way. "

"Can we really do that?" Shepard injected some urgency in her voice. "Can we do it now?"

"No. We can't do it now." The boy shook his head. "I can only give control to you if you are free of indoctrination. You are heavily indoctrinated."

Shepard sighed. She always suspected she was indoctrinated. It was no surprise with the contact she had with Reapers and their artefacts over the years.

"I don't suppose there is any way to eliminate the indoctrination?" Shepard asked. She was not optimistic of the response.

"Yes, there is." Replied the boy to her surprise.

"How?" Shepard was hopeful again.

"You need to know the truth of the other four options the Catalyst has given you."

"The Catalyst did not tell me the truth?" Shepard frowned. "Was it lying?"

"No. The Catalyst did not lie." Replied the boy. "It only gave you half-truths. The full information on the four options is there for you to see. But you do not recognise it because of your indoctrination. Once you know the truth of all four options, you will be free of indoctrination. You will see that it is all a trick. Then you will be free to activate the fifth way."

"And how can I find out the truth? Can you show me the truth?"

"No. I can't." A sly smile appeared on the boys lips. "But there are others who can."

"Who are these others?" Asked Shepard.

"You will see." The sly smile turned into a broad grin. "All you have to do is look into the fire."

"Now?" Asked Shepard.

"Yes. Now."

Shepard smiled. "Ok, Casey."

Shepard turned her eyes to the fire crackling away in front of her. She remembered the fire from the dreams she had about the boy. In her dreams, the fire always rose up and consumed her. But this fire was warm and welcoming. Its light drew her gaze into its dancing flames. She found herself falling in…deeper…deeper.

Shepard found herself transported through a tunnel of red and white light. After a few seconds, she arrived at her destination. She was no longer in the forest. She was in a laboratory. A laboratory she knew very well. The laboratory from the Normandy SR-2.

At one of the lab desks, an old Salarian with one antenna was working at a monitor. The Salarian looked up at her. Shepard immediately recognised him and grinned with delight.

"Mordin!" Cried Shepard with unreserved joy. "Mordin Solus. Is it really you?"


	3. The Salarian

CHAPTER 3 – The SALARIAN

"Ah, Shepard. Good. You're here." Said Mordin in his usual brisk manner.

"Morden. It's great to see you again." Shepard beamed with joy.

"It's good to see you too, Shepard."

Shepard looked at Mordin for a moment. Her smile fell away as a sense of unease niggled at her. Shepard had seen Mordin sacrifice his life on the Krogan homeworld in order to cure the Genophage . She found it hard to believe it was him.

"Is it really you, Mordin?" Asked Shepard cautiously.

Mordin looked down at himself. "Looks like me. Feels like me. Yes, it's definitely me."

"But I saw you die on Tuchanka." Said Shepard. "How can it be really you?"

"Do you know what day it is, Shepard?" Asked Mordin

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Let me think. It's 31 October. Halloween. And you've come back from the dead to help me against the Reapers."

"Good, Shepard." Said Mordin. "No need to explain then."

Shepard smirked and crossed her arms. "So you're a ghost too, then? From the worlds of spirits and magic?"

"Over-simplistic. But effectively an accurate assessment."

"You're serious, Mordin? That doesn't sound very scientific."

"Nothing to do with science." Mordin started to work on his console. "Come back to help, Shepard. That's all you need to know. No time to explain how. Too complicated and no time. Priority to defeat Reapers. No time to waste on other matters."

Shepard watched Mordin for a moment as he continued to work on his console in silence. She realised she would get nothing more out of him on this subject.

"What is this place?" Shepard looked around, feeling the familiarity of the lab from her previous ship. "It can't be the old Normandy. It can't be real."

"No, not real, Shepard." Replied Mordin. "Spectral projection generated by your mind to facilitate our communication. Your human brain cannot perceive my existence in its true form. So creates simulation of reality your limited mental capacities can process and relate to."

"Ah, right." Shepard smiled and crossed her arms. "I'm not sure I really understand any of that."

"Good." Said Mordin. "You know it's really me then."

Shepard laughed. "That's true."

Morden tapped some keys on his console, bringing up a holographic image of the crucible.

"You were about you choose synthesis, yes?" Mordin glanced at her as he worked.

"Eh, yes." Replied Shepard, flustered by Mordin's sudden change of subject.

"Very bad idea. Not good at all." Mordin shook his head.

"But why?" Shepard frowned. "The Catalyst said it would bring peace and it would stop the Reaper cycle."

"True." Said Mordin.

Shepard looked confused. "But if it's true. What's the problem?"

"Been studying synthesis process. Solution only last for ten years. fifteen at most. Then everyone dead. Only Reapers remain. Cycle begins again."

"What? Only fifteen years? How?"

Morden brought up a holographic image showing a side-ways animation of Shepard leaping into the green stream of light. The image of Shepard disintegrated into billions of atoms. In a different animation, Shepard's atoms were then shown to spread throughout the galaxy.

"When you leap into the synthesis stream, your essence is distributed around all organics and synthetics. Creates one single species. Process is instantaneous."

Another holographic image appeared to show the visual representation of a genetic code. It spun in the air above their heads.

"Each individual keeps the form of the original species." The holographic animation started to display the various species of the galaxy, showing how synthesis was affecting their genetic code. "All still look different. But all are genetically the same. All have the same genetic code. Half organic. Half synthetic."

Shepard looked intently at the holographic images of numerous species as they spun and moved round in the in the air above her.

"But why would it only last fifteen years?"

"Synthesis changes genetic structure. Life span would be ten to fifteen years for everyone."

"Even for the Krogan and the Asari?" Asked Shepard. "They can live for hundreds of years."

"Lifespan reduced to fifteen years for all species. Krogan, Asaris, Quarian, Salarian, Human, Drell. Makes no difference. Everyone lives fifteen years at most after synthesis activated."

"But what about EDI and the Geth? They are synthetic."

A holographic image of EDI and a Geth appeared above Shepard.

"With synthesis, they are also part of the new species. They are part organic. They become mortal. They also only live 15 years. Then they too will die."

The image demonstrated that both EDI and the Geth now had the internal organs just like an organic species. Shepard studied the image.

"But surely the new species can reproduce?" She asked. "They will have children who will continue to populate the galaxy"

"No. Synthesis sterilizes everyone. Result of being part-synthetic. No possibility of reproduction."

The holographic image again displayed several species, demonstrating that their productive organs were no longer functioning.

"Everyone is sterile?" Shepard looked at Morden in horrified shock. "There would be no offspring?"

"Correct. Synthesis removes all ability to procreate. Makes genophage seem like powerful fertility treatment."

Shepard pondered Morden's words and looked at the images before her. She was now beginning to understand the truth. It was as if Morden had opened a locked door in her consciousness.

"But could the new species not find a cure to the infertility?" Asked Shepard. "They would still have their science and technology."

"No cure." Said Mordin. "Synthesis is not a disease. The condition is permanent. Cannot be changed without several decades of research."

"And they don't have the time…" Shepard said thoughtfully to herself.

"Won't do research anyway." Said Mordin. "They will all be indoctrinated by the time they realise there is no reproduction. Reapers will convince them there is no need for reproduction in new existence."

"But will the indoctrination not cease with synthesis?" Asked shepard.

"A Reaper never ceases to indoctrinate." Replied Mordin.

"Of course." Shepard muttered. Shepard knew this was true. Even dormant, derelict or damaged Reaper technology could still indoctrinate those around it. Shepard could just imagine the army of Reapers and their minions serving the new species in their new utopian world. The new species would be constantly subject to indoctrination. The Reapers would defeat them through their own complicity and cooperation.

"No wonder the catalyst said there would be peace." Shepard shook her head. "There would be no conflict. No drive to procreate. No need to compete. No motivation to build. No reason to look to the future."

"Correct, Shepard. Best and shortest scenario for the Reapers." Said Mordin. "No need to fight. No need to reap. Everyone lives in comfort and peace for fifteen years. Then everyone is dead. Reapers can clean up and leave. Wait for new civilisation to grow so the next cycle can begin."

"But the Catalyst said that Synthesis was the peak of evolution." Said Shepard. "Was that a lie?"

"No lie. But it is the peak of evolution in an evolutionary dead-end. This branch of evolution cannot progress. Leads inevitably to extinction."

"And leads to victory for the Reapers."

Shepard pondered her knew knowledge for the moment. She was horrified that she had almost chosen synthesis which would have caused the extinction of every species in the civilised galaxy. But there was one further question that perplexed her.

"The catalyst said that Synthesis would end the cycle" She said. "How can that be true if the Reapers win?"

"At time synthesis activated, cycle is over." Replied Mordin. "There are no synthetics and new species doesn't need them. Reapers live in peace with the new species. But when everyone dead, the solution comes to an end. Reapers are free again. Cycle begins again."

Shepard nodded. It all made sense. The Catalyst had not lied to her. But it had hidden the truth from her. The boy was right. The Catalyst had tried to trick her.

"Do you understand now, Shepard?" For the first time Mordin looked at her intently. "Synthesis does not end Reaper threat."

Shepard nodded. "Yes. I understand."

"Good." Mordin switched off all the holographic images. "Must get back. You must go and see the boy now. No time to waste. You must hurry. Must save galaxy. You must find the fifth way."

Shepard was taken aback by Mordin's brisk dismissal. But she smiled. That was typical of him. Once business was over, he was anxious for her to leave.

"Yes, of course Mordin." Shepard turned to leave. But then she realised she didn't know how to get back to the forest.

"Er..Mordin." Shepard said in embarrassment. "How do I get back?"

Mordin looked up at her and blinked. "You go through the door. As always."

"Ah, right. Of course."

Shepard turned to leave. But there was one last thing she wanted to say. She turned to face Mordin one last time.

"Thank you, Mordin." Shepard looked at him with sadness in her eyes. "For everything."

"You are welcome, Commander Shepard." Mordin looked up at her for a moment. The he turned his face back to the monitor he was working on.

"It was good to see you again, my old friend." She felt the sorrow in her own voice. She doubted she would see Mordin again.

"Likewise, Shepard." Mordin did not look up. "Goodbye ."

Shepard turned and walked to the exit of the lab. When she went through the door, she found herself again travelling through the tunnel of light. Moments later, she was sitting by the fire with the young boy.

"Did you find out what you needed to know?" The boy asked her.

"Yes, I did." Shepard smiled at him tenderly. "And thanks for stopping me choosing synthesis. It would have been the wrong decision."

"I Know."

Shepard remembered that Mordin seemed to suggest that Shepard should hurry. She decided not to waste time.

"So what now?" Asked Shepard. "I presume choosing to control the Reapers would not be any better?"

The boy shook his head. "No."

"And who will tell me why?"

The boy smiled. "Look into the fire and you will see."

Shepard smiled back. She looked into the fire and was taken through the corridor of light to her next destination. She wondered who she would see next to explain the pitfalls of controlling the Reapers. Who would it be. Ash? Thane? Anderson? She found herself looking forward to the encounter with both apprehension and excitement.

When she arrived at her destination, Shepard found herself in a finely decorated apartment.

It was a place she had been before. Sitting on a couch across from her was a beautiful Asari. It was an Asari that Shepard knew very well. But it was not an Asari she had expected to meet in this situation. Indeed, it was not a person Shepard had ever wanted to see again.

The Asari crossed her legs and smiled.

"Well, Shepard." The Asari said. "How delightful for us to meet again."

Shepard could only look in horrified shock at the woman sitting before her.

It was Morinth.


	4. The Asari

CHAPTER 4 - THE ASARI

"What are you doing here, Morinth?" Shepard folded her arms and glared at the Asari.

They were here both in Morinth's apartment on Omega. Morinth was sitting on the couch, while Shepard stood in front of her.

"Now, now, Shepard." Morinth smiled up at her. "That's no way to treat an old acquaintance."

"We are not acquaintances, Morinth."

"Well. We did speak a couple of time, Shepard. I would say that makes us acquaintances."

"You haven't answered my question, Morinth. Why are you here?"

"Well, for one thing, Shepard. You are in my apartment."

Shepard rolled her eyes and sighed in impatience.

"And for another." Continued Morinth. "I am here to help you."

"Help me. How can you help me?"

"Well, I hear you need some information on control." Morinth smirked up at her. "As you know Shepard, I am and Ardat-Yakshi. I am an expert on control."

For a moment Shepard stood silently. She found the idea of speaking with a cold-blooded murderer like Morinth distasteful. But on the other hand, she could not fault the Asari's logic. Morinth was certainly an expert in control.

Morinth was a serial killer who had used her mind control power to entrap and murder her countless victims. Morinth was the daughter of an Asari Justicar called Samara. Shepard had helped Samara track down and kill Morinth during a visit to Omega.

"In fact, it was a toss-up between me and the Illusive man."Said Morinth. "But I suspect that your memory of him is a little too, shall we say, fresh. And apart from that. I am the best qualified."

"OK, Morinth." Said Shepard. "Let's get this over with. Tell me what I need to know."

"Oh, now now, Shepard." Morinth smiled up at her. "Don't be so impolite. Take a seat and we can talk."

Shepard held her ground.

"I insist." Said Morinth pointing to a chair. "I'm not saying anything until you sit."

Shepard reluctantly sat in a chair as far away from Morinth as possible.

"That's better." Morinth smiled warmly. "No need to be uncivilised."

Shepard sat in silence and looked at her coldly.

"Now, Shepard. Have you heard the last track from Expel 10?"

Morinth was met with a stony faced wall of silence from Shepard.

"No? That's a pity. OK. Or has Vaenia released any new vids since you let my mother kill me. Surely, you're still watching Vaenia, Shepard? Or have you suddenly lost interest since we last met?"

"I'm not here for small talk, Morinth."

"Oh, that's such a pity. I do miss these little preasures in life." Morinth pouted at Shepard. "I was so hoping we could have a chat about our common interests. You seemed so…passionate…about them when we last met on Omega."

"I haven't got time for this, Morinth." The frustration was clear in Shepard's voice. "Mordin Solus said we had to hurry."

Morinth laughed. "Oh, I doubt that's true. And even if it was, it's no concern of mine. As you know, Shepard, I'd happily let the galaxy burn just for the thrill of it."

"Then why don't you do it then? Just let the galaxy burn."

"Oh, I would." Said Morinth Cheerfully. "But it would be much more satisfying to see the destruction of the Reapers. Don't you think? It's so exciting to see the great fall."

"So why did Mordin say it?"

"He probably just wanted you out of his lab. He is a scientist and probably only talked to you about work. He's not as sociable and amenable as I am."

Shepard glared coldly at Morinth for a moment. "Morinth. Can we please talk about the Reapers?"

Morinth looked at Shepard intently for a moment. "Of course we can, Shepard. Since you asked nicely."

"Well?"

Morinth put her fingers under her chin as if in deep thought.

"The Catalyst has offered you the possibility of controlling the Reapers." Said Morinth. "Am I correct?"

Shepard gave a slight nod. "Yes."

"You are probably considering accepting this proposal." continued Morinth. "You sincerely believe you can stop them from harming people and only intend to use them to help society. You plan to employ them in a military sense, but only to defend your territory from invaders and pirates. Or to neutralise troublesome antagonists. Am I right so far?"

"Go on."

"But it won't work."

"Why won't it work?" Asked Shepard.

"Oh, for the first few years, things will go as you envisage. "Morinth said. "You will bring peace to the civilised star systems through the power of your Reaper armada. After decades of peace, the civilised races will no longer need their own military. They will depend on you and your Reapers for protection.

"And how is that a problem?" Said Shepard.

"Because one day, perhaps decades in the future, you will give the order to recommence the harvesting. The Reapers will just swarm in and take what they want. There will be little or no resistance. The civilised races will have no defence because the Reapers will be the only significant military force in the galaxy. Giving you control of the Reapers is simply a convenient way of neutralising the defences of the galaxy's civilisations."

"I wouldn't let that happen." Said Shepard with confidence.

Oh, really?" Morinth frowned with curiosity. "And how would you stop it?"

"I would order the Reapers into dark space. Or I would command them to destroy themselves."

"But you would never give such an order." Said Morinth.

"Why?"

"Because you will be completely indoctrinated as soon as you accept control of the Reapers. Even though you won't realise it."

Shepard wanted to object. But she knew there was truth in Morinth's words. She had seen how the Illusive Man had become indoctrinated while believing otherwise.

"Please explain." Asked Shepard.

Morinth paused for a moment. She didn't answer the question directly.

"Do you know where you are, Shepard?" Morinth motioned around her. "I mean this apartment. Mordin's lab. The wood where the boy took you?"

Shepard shook her head.

"This is all imagined by the part of your physical brain that is not indoctrinated." Said Morinth. "This is the part of your subconscious that is still free from Reaper influence. It is the part of your physical mind that has allowed you to keep fighting the Reapers. It is the secret door that we can enter and communicate with you without the Catalyst noticing us."

Shepard nodded. For once her situation was beginning to make sense. "Go on."

"The Catalyst has been influencing the part of your mind that is indoctrinated." Continued Morinth. "They try to manipulate you into accepting one of their four options without considering any alternatives."

"What is this got to do with me controlling the Reapers?" Asked Shepard.

"As soon as you take control of the Reapers, your body will disintegrate and you will lose your physical brain. The part of your mind that is not indoctrinated will be lost for ever. Once you lose that part of yourself, you will lose the last part of your humanity and you will become as one with the Reapers. They will completely control you. Although you will believe that you control them."

"But I will still remember my existence as a human. Surely some of my humanity will remain? If I order the Reapers to destroy themselves or leave, they will."

Morinth shook her head. "You will believe that. And in theory it is true. But you will never give such an order because you will be indoctrinated. It will never occur to you after you take control. You will convince yourself that keeping the Reapers around will be of benefit to the galaxy. You will never do any harm to the Reapers or send them away. Do you really think the Reapers would give you such power otherwise? They only let you have control because they know you will act in their best interests."

Shepard shook her head, not wanting to believe it. "How do you know this, Morinth?"

"Because I know what you will become." Morinth smiled melancholically. "Because you will become just like me."

Shepard glared at Morinth in disgust. "What do you mean?"

"You know that I am Ardat-Yakshi, Shepard." Said Morinth. "As you know, the condition gives me some, shall we say, talents at controlling people. It gave me great power. Just as the Reapers are offering you great power now."

"But you had control of your power. You had a choice how to use it. Just as I will."

"No, Shepard. The indoctrination of the Reapers blinds you to the truth. Just as my condition as Ardat-Yakshi blinded me. I used to believe that I was in full control of my powers. But in reality, the condition controlled me. It drove me to…"

"…murder people?" Interjected Shepard flatly.

"Oh Shepard." Morinth frowned in feigned indignation." You make everything sound so vulgar. It drove me to impose my will on them and bring people into a higher plane of existence."

"A higher plane." Sneered Shepard. "Is that what you call serial murder these days?"

"I believe the Reapers also claim they are ascending their victims to a higher plane of existence." Morinth spoke firmly. "And that is what you will be doing if you accept control of the Reapers. You will kill billions and claim you are doing it for the benefit of the galaxy. You will believe you are in control. But in the end, it is the Reaper doctrine that will decide your actions. You will become a killer just like me, but on a galactic scale. And like me, you won't feel any remorse, because you will have lost any connection to your human past."

"I just can't believe it." Said Shepard. "It can't be true."

"When I was an Ardat-Yakshi." Morinth spoke more softly now. "I used to strip down the resistance of my victimns with persuasion and demonstrations of power. I claimed to be their friend and protector, while making them dependent on me. Sometimes it took days, sometimes even weeks. Then when they were defenceless, I made my final move on them. In the end, they surrendered without a struggle because they had lost the will and ability to fight. You will do the same to the civilised races of the galaxy if you control the Reapers, Shepard. That is the truth the Catalyst has hidden from you."

Shepard sat shaking her head as she pondered Morinth's words. She struggled to believe she could be compared in any way to Morinth. She just couldn't believe should would become a ruthless mass-murderer.

"I see you are having doubts, Shepard." Sighed Morinth. There is one way to relieve them. There is one way to let you see the truth and find the Fifth Way."

"And what is that?" Shepard looked at her suspiciously.

"By joining minds."

Shepard leapt from her chair.

"You have to be joking, Morinth." Said Shepard. "I know that is how you kill people."

Morinth rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Shepard. You do know what day it is today, don't you?"

Shepard looked at her embarrassed.

"It's the 31st October. Halloween."

"Good, Shepard." Morinth sighed. "And you know what I am?"

"Apparently, you are a ghost. A spirit of the dead."

"And who sent you here?"

"The boy sent me." Said Shepard.

"Yes, the boy sent you. In order that I can help you."

Shepard shook her head. "I don't like it."

"Look Shepard." Said Morinth. "If I am dead, I can't harm you. But if you are not willing to do this, then I cannot help you. There is nothing more I can do and the galaxy is lost."

Shepard pondered the situation. The boy had sent her here to obtain help from Morinth. She did not believe the boy would send her into danger. She sensed that this mind-meld with Morinth was important.

"OK, I'll do it." With reluctance, Shepard sat beside Morinth. "Make it quick."

"Do you trust me Shepard?" Morinth brushed Shepard's hair with her hands and smiled sweetly at her.

"No. But I trust the boy."

"That will have to do then." Morinth gripped Shepard's head firmly with her hands. Morinth's eyes went black. "Embrace eternity!"

Shepard's mind exploded into light and colour as it was assaulted by visions of the Reapers assaulting and harvesting a planet. She saw the slaughter of organics and the destruction of a civilisation.

Shepard felt herself in control of the Reapers. She looked on the Reapers and recognised them as the pinnacle of evolution. They were the superior race that would rule the galaxy. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else was relevant.

She looked on the minor species of the galaxy and found that they were insignificant. She did not have any feelings of compassion for them. She only felt deep contempt for their pitiful lives. Lives that did not deserve to exist. Lives that should be harvested so that the Reapers could grow stronger. Shepard looked down at the destruction caused by the Reapers and she knew it was right and good. She felt great satisfaction at the harvesting of these inferior races who had dared to defy the Reapers.

Shepard looked in on herself. Into her very being. But she didn't recognise the spirit of Commander Shepard. She didn't recognise any humanity at all. Instead, she saw the dark presence of Harbringer. At that moment, Shepard realised that she was not looking at her future; she was looking at Harbringer's present. She was seeing things as Harbringer did at this very moment. She was looking on the invasion of Earth.

Shepard felt her mind look back in time, thousands of years in the past. She saw what Harbringer used to be. She saw him in his original form as he grasped the levers of the crucible that would disintegrate his body and give him control of the Reapers. She felt his spirit from his previous life. He was a good man from a race that lived long ago. He was a great leader who wished to defeat the reapers; a hero who accepted the Catalyst's offer to control the Reapers in the hope of saving the galaxy.

But he had not saved them. He had condemned his species to extinction and damnation. Just as he condemned countless civilizations in the Reaper cycles that came after.

Shepard recoiled from Harbringer's mind. She understood that this is what she would become if she accepted to control the Reapers. She would not defeat Harbringer. She would become a new incarnation of him. She would replace him and continue the Reaper cycle as their new leader.

After a bright flash of light in her mind, Shepard found herself back in Morinth's apartment. Morinth looked at her with a smile. Shepard held her head in her hands, her mind still dazed from the experience.

"How did I not see this?" Groaned Shepard holding her head. "How could I be so foolish? How did I become so lost? I almost let myself serve the Reapers."

"It won't happen immediately." Morinth said with surprising tenderness. "But as the decades go by, the people you know will die out and you will become out-of touch with the sentient species. You will lose touch with your humanity. You will lose all empathy with the civilised peoples of the galaxy. You will lose all compassion. Eventually, nothing of your old self will remain. Your will become one with the Reapers. And you will lead them to victory over your own people."

Shepard considered Morinth's words for a moment before asking her next question. "But what about the Geth?" Said Shepard. "They would surely resist."

Morinth shook her head. "The Geth will be loyal to you. When you choose to control the Reapers, you will also control the Geth. And when you give the order to recommence the harvesting, the Geth will join with the Reapers in subduing the organics."

Shepard shook her head in despair. She understood now that Morinth was telling the truth. If she chose the control option, the Reapers would start harvesting again in a few decades. And there would be nothing to stop them.

"Do you understand now, Shepard?" Asked Morinth.

"Yes. I understand." Shepard's voice was filled with regret.

Shepard stood up. "I have to get back to the boy." She said with urgency. "I'd better go."

"Such a pity. I was enjoying our little chat." sighed Morinth. "But I have things to do anyway. I need to visit my mother while there's still time."

Shepard frowned. "I thought Samara was still alive?"

"She is alive." Morinth smiled maliciously. "What would be the fun otherwise?"

Shepard shook her head. "OK. Morinth. How do I leave here? Through the door?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Shepard." Morinth laughed. "You are in a spectral projection. There are no doors here."

"Well how then?"

"Just close your eyes and think of the forest."

Shepard closed her eyes and imagined being in the forest. A moment later, Shepard felt the wind on her face and heard the rustle of the leaves on the trees.


	5. Transparency

CHAPTER 5 - TRANSPARENCY

As soon Shepard felt the wind on her face and heard the rustle of the leaves in the trees, she knew that she had left Morinth's apartment. She was back with the boy in the forest again. She opened her eyes and found herself looking at the fire which was crackling away in the clearing where they were sitting.

Shepard looked at the boy beside her. He smiled at her in return.

From the corner of her eyes, Shepard noticed something strange about her own appearance. She lifted their hands and examined them. She could partially see through them. They were slightly transparent. Shepard looked down at the rest of her body and noticed that the rest of her was transparent too. Shepard was not alarmed. After all she knew she was in some sort of dreamscape. But the phenomena did raise her curiosity.

"What is happening to me?" She asked, intently examining the back and front of her hands.

"You are losing your indoctrination." Said the boy. "The less indoctrinated you are, the more transparent you will become. When you lose all form, it will be time for us to return and face the Catalyst. Then you can activate the Fifth Way."

"Incredible." Shepard looked down at herself in wonder. She looked back to the boy. "Does that mean that I am not all here? That part of me is elsewhere?"

"You are all here. But in this place, you can only see the part of you that is indoctrinated. This is your mind's way of telling you how far you must go before you can defeat the Catalyst. As you lose your indoctrination, the transparency will become more obvious. Eventually you will be almost invisible."

"Why are you in solid form?"

The boy shrugged. "That is the way your mind prefers to see me."

"Strange." Shepard remembered how the boy was transparent on the Citadel. "It's like the opposite of reality. Here, it's like I am the ghost and you are real."

"You are still real." Said the boy. "But I have no form at all. I am just part of your imagination."

"But why didn't I notice this before?" Asked Shepard. "I didn't notice it after visiting Mordin."

"You were affected." Said the boy. "You lost substance after your visit to the Salarian. But only slightly. You were so much in a hurry to see your next guide that you didn't notice the change."

"That's true. I was in a hurry."

Thinking about time, a concerned expression appeared on Shepard's face.

"How much time do we have?" She asked. "Do we have a time limit. Do we have to hurry. Mordin seemed to suggest we did."

The boy shook his head. "Time is not a concern. There is no passage of time here. When you next wake up in the Citadel, only a couple of seconds will have passed for the catalyst."

"But why did Mordin suggest we had to hurry?"

"The boy smiled. "Whenever you meet a guide, they appear to you as you last remember them. They keep the physical form and personality from when they were alive."

"Yes, it makes sense." Said Shepard. "That grumpy old Salarian was always in a hurry to get rid of me after our business was finished on the Normandy. It looks like Morinth was telling the truth after all."

"Just because someone is bad does not mean they don't tell the truth." Said the boy. "Even the Catalyst tells the truth."

"That's true." Shepard sat in silence a moment. Then she turned again to the boy. "But why send me to Morinth? I was expecting only to see people who I had a close relationship with. I only expected to see those I respected and liked."

"Why?" Asked the boy. "The people we dislike can teach us about life as much as our friends. Did the Asari not help you understand the Reapers better?"

"Yes. She did." Said Shepard reluctantly. "You could say too well."

"Then it was worth it."

Shepard nodded. "Yes, it was."

The two of them sat in silence for a moment. Shepard inspected her partly transparent hands and thought about her encounter with Morinth.

"Morinth showed me that the someone else controlled the Reapers in the past by activating the crucible. But the cycle still continued." Said Shepard. "Is that true? Has the same thing happened before?"

"Yes. It has happened more than once."

"More than once? How do you know that?" Asked Shepard.

"We are in your mind." Replied the boy. "You are connected to the Catalyst. Because we are not alive, we are immune to the Reaper's indoctrination. We can see the truth. Now that you are losing your indoctrination, you are also starting to recognise the truth of the four options."

"And what about the other two options?" Asked Shepard. "Have the synthesis and destroy options also been chosen before?"

"Yes." Said the boy. "And that is why we know the Catalyst is trying to trick you. They have all happened before."

Shepard thought for a moment on the boys words. Morinth had demonstrated to her that control had been used before. She could see how synthesis could be used again and again. After all, when the new race created by synthesis died out, the Reapers could continue as before. But a question entered her mind.

"But how could someone have chosen the destroy option before?" Shepard frowned. "The Reapers are still here. How can the Reapers be destroyed, and yet return to continue harvesting the galaxy?"

"The Reapers' indoctrination still hides the truth from you." Replied the boy. "The option to destroy the Reapers is not all that it seems."

"Why doesn't that surprise me." Shepard smirked. "And who will tell me the truth?"

The boy smiled. "You know what to do. All you need to do is look into the fire and you will see."

"Of course." Shepard smiled back. "But after the last time, I'm not sure I'm looking forward to this."

With a feeling of trepidation, Shepard looked into the fire and found herself again transported through the tunnel of light. When she arrived, she found herself in a large enclosed dimly lit location.

Shepard looked up to see who was in front of her. When she saw who it was, her heart froze and her blood ran cold. Before her was a female human in off-duty military clothing. Shepard didn't know whether to laugh with joy or cry with grief.

Shepard was in the hangar bay of the Normandy SR-1. And before her stood Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams.


	6. The Human

CHAPTER 6 - THE HUMAN

For a moment, Shepard froze and stared at the human female with short dark hair in front of her. The young woman didn't seem to have notice her at first. She stood and cleaned her assault rifle as if oblivious to Shepard's presence.

At first, Shepard just stood in silence and watched the young woman work. It was as if they were still on the Normandy all these years ago. Both of them were dressed in their military issue off-duty t-shirt and pants. As if the were both still alive.

"Ash? Ashley Williams?" Shepard heard herself say, her voice breaking with emotion. "Is that really you?"

The young woman turned to face Shepard and smiled warmly."Hey, commander. it's good to see you." She said, her dark eyes flashing with genuine warmth and affection. "How's it going?"

"I'm good, Ash." Shepard's voice quivered as she spoke.

Ashley put down the rifle she was cleaning and turned to face Shepard. For a moment, Shepard just stood motionless and looked at her lost comrade. She looked so alive, so real.

"I have missed you, Ashley."

"I have missed you, too commander."

Shepard swallowed hard. She didn't know what to say. She thought about asking Ashley how she was. But it seemed a ridiculous thing to ask a dead person. So she said nothing.

"Being dead is ok." Ashley said as if she had read Shepard's mind. "But I do miss you all. It's one of the things that sucks the most about being dead. You have to leave everyone you appreciate behind."

Shepard flinched at the mention of leaving people behind. She couldn't forget that she had left Ashley behind on Virmire.

Ashley stepped forward and gently placed her hand on Shepard's arm. It would have been an inappropriate action for a subordinate to treat a commanding officer. But Shepard no longer felt she had any authority, whether military, moral or otherwise, over Ashley Williams after what happened on Virmire.

"I understand how you are feeling." Said Ashley tenderly. "But there is no cause to worry. I am here to help. You know that, right?"

Shepard nodded her head. "Yes, Ashley." She said in a subdued tone.

"You must not dwell on you decisions in the past, commander. You must concentrate on the here and now. Focus on what is to come. Concentrate on defeating the Reapers."

"I will try, Ash."

"Do you know why you are here?" Asked Ashley.

"Yes. To explain why the Catalyst's offer to destroy the Reapers won't work." Said Shepard.

Ashley looked at Shepard for a moment impassively. There followed an awkward silence between the two women.

"Very well." Ashley was the first to speak. "In that case, there is only one thing I must ask before we go further, commander."

"Yes, Ash?"

"Do you still trust me?"

Shepard paused a moment. Then she firmly said: "Always, Ashley. I always did before and I still do now."

"Good." Ashley offered her hands to Shepard. "Then take my hands, commander. And I will show you what you need to see."

Shepard took Ashley's hands.

An instant later, Shepard felt a fresh cool breeze on her face and in her hair. The sun shined out from a clear blue sky. She was outside in the open air.

Shepard realised she was in different clothing. Shepard was wearing the Onyx armour she had obtained during the Eden Prime mission. Meanwhile, Ashley was wearing the white Pheonix armour which she was wearing when Shepard first encountered her.

"Do you remember this place?" Asked Ashley.

Shepard looked around at her surroundings. She recognised the location straight away.

"Yes. This is the platform at the station on Eden Prime." Replied Shepard. "Where we found the Prothean beacon."

Shepard walked over to where the beacon was located. She didn't go too close, remembering what happened when she activated it four years before.

"Don't worry." Ashley smiled and walked right up to the beacon. "It won't activate this time. This is just a point in time from your memories. It is not really there."

Shepard stretched out her hand and touched the beacon with her armoured hand. She was relieved when nothing happened. She turned back to face Ashley.

"This isn't what you wanted to show me, Ash. Is it?"

"No commander. I wanted to show you something else. Come with me."

Ashley walked the short distance to the edge of the platform and looked out at the area beyond. Shepard joined her.

"This is the place where Sovereign landed on Eden Prime." Said Shepard as she looked on the large area of scorched ground covering the landing zone of the massive Reaper. Even now, Shepard could not repress the feelings of horror that she had felt on looking on the destruction the Reaper had caused.

"It's horrifying. Isn't it?" Ashley's voice was devoid of emotion.

"Yes. It was." Replied Shepard solemnly.

"And beautiful."

Shepard frowned and turned to face Ashley. "Beautiful? What do you mean?"

"Beautiful and powerful." Ashley smiled subtly at Shepard. "Don't you think, commander?"

Shepard felt disconcerted. For a brief moment, she wondered if Ashley was actually working for the Reapers. Or this whole dream thing was a Reaper trap. But Ashley quickly allayed her fears.

"Don't worry, commander." Ashley gave Shepard a sly smile. "I am not a Reaper agent. I am here to help you understand something."

"Go on." Shepard frowned with curiosity.

Ashley turned back to the landing site and then up to the sky.

"When I first saw Sovereign descend onto Eden Prime, I like my comrades was terrified. I felt afraid and completely helpless. I could not imagine how we could possibly survive against such a monster, never mind defeat it."

"That is understandable." Said Shepard.

"But that is not all I felt." Ashley turned to face Shepard. Shepard noted that Ashley had a pained expression on her face. "I also felt something else. Something I am ashamed of."

Shepard studied the expression on Ashley's face for a moment. Then in a flash of enlightenment, she realised what Ashley was talking about.

"You felt admiration for it, didn't you?" Said Shepard. "You felt its power and was envious of it."

Ashley nodded sombrely. "Yes, Shepard. I found myself imagining how great humanity could become with a ship like that. We wouldn't need to pander to the council or the aliens any longer. We would be free to do what we please and go where we like. With a ship like that, nothing would stop us. Not the council, not the Turians, not the Batarians. No one. We could build our own destiny free of outside interference."

"But that would never happen." Said Shepard. "The Reapers would indoctrinate you and you would end up working for them. You would end up betraying humanity."

Ashley nodded. "I know that now. And that is why I am ashamed. I was weak and let the Reapers use my weaknesses against me."

"What do you mean?" Asked Shepard.

"When I joined you, commander, I hoped that you would find some way to capture Sovereign and use it for the benefit of humanity."

"I didn't realise you thought like that?" Shepard said a bit disconcerted. If she had known Ashley's true feelings, she would have never allowed her on the Normandy.

"I hid it well." Ashley said. "Or at least my indoctrination hid itself well. It never occurred to me that there was anything wrong with wanting to capture Sovereign. I did not know then that Sovereign had influenced me. I did not even consider that the thoughts in my head were the germ of Reaper indoctrination."

Shepard understood that. When Ashley joined the Normandy, they did not know about Reaper indoctrination.

"But you must realise." Continued Ashley. "That if I was indoctrinated after such a short time and was able to conceal it..."

"...then it has happened to every single person who has come into contact with a Reaper." Shepard finished her sentence for her.

"Yes, commander. Exactly."

Shepard thought about what Ashley was telling her.

"Everyone who has come into contact with the Reapers, will be in some way influenced by Reaper indoctrination." Said Shepard. "While the Reapers exist, there will always be risk that someone will try to use their technology, even if they believed it was for good intentions."

Ashley nodded. "You understand what I am trying to tell you. No one will ever realise they are suffering from the effects of indoctrination. I have only admitted my condition and tell you the truth now for one reason. Because I am..."

"...dead." Shepard finished the sentence for her again.

"Yes, Shepard." Ashley smiled in recognition. "But no one alive will admit or accept it. No matter how close they are to you. No matter how much you trust them."

Shepard stood in silence for a moment and pondered Ashley's words. Shepard always knew that Reaper indoctrination had an immediate effect. But she only now realised how serious the impact was. Since much of the galactic population had been in direct contact with the Reapers, the Reapers would almost certainly return if they were not completely defeated and annihilated. There must be total victory or total defeat. There was no middle ground.

Shepard realised the scale of the task that faced her. She began to have doubts that the task was possible.

"But there is some hope." Ashley seemed to sense Shepard's growing despair. "Sovereign's effect on me reduced while I was on the Normandy."

"Really?" Shepard frowned with curiosity. "How did that occur?"

For the first time since arriving on Eden Prime, Ashley smiled. "I grew to appreciate and trust the other squad members, even though they were aliens. We shared a common goal, we fought together, we trained together, we ate together and we depended on each other. It reduced my distrust of aliens. That in turn reduced Sovereign's influence on me.

Ashley stared into the distance as if remembering old times.

"Wrex helped me out a lot with training. He taught me how to deal with Krogan enemies. And when I learned that I could handle a Krogan like Wrex in close combat, I realised that I could go toe-to-toe with anything."

Shepard smiled and nodded with recognition.

"Garrus taught me how to improve my technique with the sniper rifle. I didn't realise how sloppy I was until I met him. Plus he was real charming. A real gentleman. Nothing like the grunts I had to deal with in the Alliance."

Shepard continued smiling, wondering if Ash appreciated Garrus more than she admitted. But she said nothing.

"And Tali showed me how I could maintain my armour and weapons with greater efficiency." Ashley giggled slightly. "It's incredible how such a shy sweet girl could become so assertive when placed in front of a piece of hardware. It was some transformation, I can tell you."

Shepard laughed. Ashley's words comforted Shepard. She was happy that Ash had felt some of the comradeship Shepard had experienced herself. And it suggested that indoctrination could be slowed or even reversed if an individual was put in a favourable environment.

"And Liara?" Asked Shepard.

Ashley shrugged. "I never really had much to do with her. She kept herself locked away in the med-lab. I suppose biotics aren't really my thing. And I admit, I was jealous of her abilities."

Shepard just nodded. She rembered how Ashley had feverently opposed the joining of minds between herself and Liara.

"But in hindsight, I appreciate her." Said Ashley. "After all, without her, you would have never found Ilos and defeated Sovereign."

Shepard nodded thoughtfully. Then after a brief pause she said."And what about Kaiden?"

Ashley smiled and looked into space, as if reminiscing about the past.

"Kaiden was a very special guy, as you well know, commander."

Shepard's felt her throat go dry at that. "Yes, he is a good soldier and a good man." She said.

"And a lot more." A sly smile came over Ashley's face. "He was tolerant and compassionate. He managed to do his duty as a soldier while retaining his humanity. He was a better person than me."

"You are being unfair on yourself, Ash." Said Shepard with sincerity.

"Maybe so. But in the end, Kaiden is alive, while I was left to die on Virmire."

Shepard swallowed hard at the mention of Virmire. Everything seemed to come right back round to the place and time of Ashley's death.

"If Kaiden was not on Virmire , I may have never have died there." Ashley looked intently at Shepard. "Is that not true, commander?"

A shiver went down Shepard's spine as she met Ashley's intense gaze. Then something occurred to Shepard. A truth she had never considered before.

"You aren't here to talk about destroying the Reapers, are you?" Shepard squinted at Ashley with suspicion. "You've come to speak of something else."

Ashley paused a moment. Then she nodded sombrely. "Someone else will talk about the destruction of the Reapers."

"Then why am I here with you?"

Ashley stretched out her hands to Shepard. Ashley was not smiling. She had a pained expression on her face.

"Take my hands, commander, and you will see."

A feeling of great foreboding and apprehension washed over Shepard. She hesitated, suddenly unsure of herself.

"Do you trust me, Commander?"

Shepard looked upon the human soldier in front of her. She felt a great sense of unease. But she realised it emanated from within herself. Ashley Williams was her ally and friend. Ashley Williams had willingly died for her. Shepard had nothing to fear from Ashley.

"Yes, I trust you, Ash."

"Then let's go, commander."

Shepard took Ashley's hand and the two women disappeared from Eden Prime.

A moment later, Shepard could hear the sound of waves washing up on a beach, interrupted by intermitant bursts of gunfire. Shepard went cold with anxiety. She knew where she was. She was about to experience her worst fear.

She was on Virmire.


	7. Guilt Trip

Chapter 7 - Guilt Trip

Shepard looked around her. A shiver went down her spine. She knew exactly where she was. She was on Virmire.

More precisely, Shepard found herself on the roof of the base Saren was using to cure the genophage. The base Shepard had infiltrated and destroyed three years before. Shepard was standing on the roof walkway. In the exact location where she had sent Ashley Williams to her death.

For a moment, Shepard stood still and looked around. The air was filled with a mixture of sensations and sounds. She felt the sea air against her skin and the smell of seaweed fill her nostrils. She heard the waves beating against the shore and the squawk of sea birds in the air. She heard the sound of gunfire from the AA batteries. She felt her heart beating frantically in her chest.

From somewhere below her, Shepard notice the flash of light caused by the reflection of the sun on a gun barrel. She saw three armoured figures run towards her.

A geth drop-ship flew over her location. The three figures stopped directly in front of her and looked to where the geth ship was heading. She recognised them all. On the left stood Liara, on the right Garrus. And in the middle, Shepard saw herself equipped in her colossus armour, the commander Shepard from three years before.

"It looks like the geth have sent reinforcements." Shepard heard Liara say.

Shepard saw the past version of herself cock her head to receive a message through her comm. Shepard swallowed hard. She knew exactly what would happen next. Shepard quivered as a shiver rippled through the length of her body, chilling her to the core.

"Chief. We've just spotted a troop ship inbound to your location." Shepard heard Kaiden say over the comm.

"It's already here." Shepard felt herself flinch as the sound of Ashley's voice broke in, also over the comm. "And it's bleeding Geth all over the bomb site."

Shepard wanted to run. She wanted to escape from there. Escape from the nightmare that was about to unfold. But she could not. She felt herself rooted to the spot. As if some malign invisible force wanted to keep her there, forcing Shepard to bear witness to the most harrowing moment of her life.

"Can you hold them off?" Shepard heard herself say.

Shepard whinced as she waited for the reply she knew would come.

"There's too many. I don't think we can hold them." Ash spoke frantically. "I'm activating the nuke."

"What the hell are doing Williams?" Shepard heard her past self say. Although her response had the authority and confidence of a decisive commander, it hid the growing desperation she had really felt at the time.

"Making sure this bomb goes off. No matter what." Said Ashley with determination in her voice.

Shepard watched in horror as the scene played itself out before her. But unlike the fragmented images from her recurring nightmares, this felt all too real. It was as if she was experiencing every word and every emotion of the event in real-time all over again.

"It's done commander." Said Ashley. "Go and get the lieutenant and get the hell out of here."

"Belay that. We can handle ourselves." Said Kaiden, almost pleading as he spoke. "Go back and get Williams."

Shepard saw her past self hesitate. It was as if time seemed to stop. An age seemed to pass before Shepard's past self finally decided who should live and who should die between her two friends. In reality, only a second passed before she responded.

"Alenko. Radio Joker and tell him to meet us on the AA tower."

Shepard fell to her knees as her past self gave the fateful instruction that would condemn Ashley Williams to death. 'Please stop.' Shepard heard herself whimper. 'Please, not again.'

But nothing could stop the scene from continuing to its fateful conclusion. Just as it had three years before. Just as it had done in the nightmares that had plagued so many of Shepard's restless nights.

"Yes commander. I..." Said Kaiden.

"You know it's the right choice LT." Said Ashley.

"Fight hard chief." Tears welling in her eyes, Shepard mouthed the final words she would ever say to the living Ashley Williams. "Die well."

"Aye aye, commander."

Then there was silence.

Shepard found herself alone. Her past self and her two squad mates had departed to save Kaiden. All that was left was the breeze against her face and the sound of the sea birds in the distance.

For a moment, Shepard knelt motionless on the walkway and stared into space. She felt helpless. She heard the sound of the waves against the shore and wished that they would sweep her away. Wished that they would drown her in the sea of her own pain, guilt and sorrow.

But then she heard the voice in her head. It was faint at first. But then it got louder. Shepard lifted her head and listened attentively. She stood up as she recognised the voice. It was the voice of Ashley Williams.

"Shepard. Come to me!"

For a moment, Shepard stood frowning.

"Ash? Is that you Ash?"

Ashley's voice got louder and more insistent. "Commander! You must come to me. There is not a lot of time."

"Ash!" Shepard's eyes went wide with alarm. She realised Ash was right. The bomb would go off any moment. She had to go now. "Ash. Hold on. I'm coming."

Shepard launched herself into a sprint down the walkway. She entered the lift on the roof and frantically activated the controls. She cursed as the lift seemed to take an age to reach ground level.

When the lift door opened, Shepard ran along the corridor and opened the door that would take her into the wide trench leading to the bomb site. Shepard rushed to the end of the trench and tried to open the large blast doors blocking her way. They didn't open.

From the other side of the doors, Shepard could hear the sound of gunfire as Ash battled the Geth around the nuclear bomb that would soon go off. In desperation, Shepard hammered on the doors with her fists.

"Open, damn you!" Shepard shouted in despair, as if she hoped to open them by sheer will power. But they stayed resolutely closed.

Shepard closed her eyes and lay her forehead against the metal surface of the door. She listened helplessly as the sounds of battle raged from the other side. Shepard cursed. Shepard opened her eyes and hammered her fist against the door one more time. But to no avail. There was no way through.

Shepard looked at her fist resting on the metal surface of the door. It was transparent. She could see through it. Shepard raised her hands in front of her face and looked carefully at them. She looked down at her body and saw that all of her was transparent, a sign that the reaper indoctrination was failing. Then a realisation dawned her.

"This is not real. Shepard whispered to herself. "None of this is real. I am not real."

Shepard stretched our her hand and slowly moved it to the door. Her transparent hand passed through the door as if it didn't exist.

Shepard smiled. Now she knew what to do. She stepped forward and passed through the door as if it was made of air. Shepard found herself on the other side. She was at the bomb site at last.

But as soon as Shepard saw the scene before her, her smile vanished. She saw the armoured figure of Ashley William crouched beside the bomb, surrounded by the inert metal bodies of several geth troopers.

Shepard saw more geth close in on Ashley's position. Ashley fired her assault rifle felling three of them with well-aimed tungsten rounds. Shepard ran towards Ashley and the bomb.

"Ash! Ash!"

Just as Shepard reached Ashley's position, a concentrated volley of fire hit her friend, wounding Ashley in the arm and knocking her assault rifle out her hands.

Shepard was desperate to help Ashley. But she realised that there was nothing she could do. She was nothing but a ghostly figure from the future. There was no way she could intervene.

Ashley drew her pistol and fired on the advancing geth. Ashley, was hit again, this time in the side. But she still kept firing, determined to defend the bomb to the very end.

Shepard looked on helplessly as another round struck Ashley, this time in the leg. Shepard dropped to her knees in despair, as if she herself had received the wound.

"Ash! Ash!"

Shepard felt tears fill her eyes as she watched Ashley battle against overwhelming odds. Time seemed to slow down, as if the events around Shepard were happening in slow motion.

Shepard felt the presence of another person beside her. She looked round to her right and saw another version of Ashley kneeling beside her. This Ashley was wearing the off-duty fatigues of the Alliance military. It was the ghost-Ashley from the Normandy she had spoken to before.

Ghost-Ashley looked impassively at the battle playing out in slow motion before them.

"This is how it ended." Ash's voice was full of sorrow. "This where you abandoned me. This where you left me to die. Forgotten, afraid and alone."

Ash's words cut through Shepard's soul like a knife through butter. She found herself shivering, as if she was experiencing Ashley's last moments for herself.

"No, Ash." Said Shepard. "I never forgot you."

"And for what?" Ghost-Ashley turned her head to look at Shepard, seemingly ignoring her response. "So you could galavant around the galaxy with a bunch of aliens? So you could betray the Alliance and join a group of fanatics like Cerberus? So you could play the heroine of the galaxy for a few years? Is that what I died for?"

Shepard bowed her head in shame. She so wished she could take Ashley's place. But it was too late for that now.

"And so you could save your boyfriend, Kaiden." Ashley smirked in disgust.

Shepard knelt in silence as a wave of guilt washed over her.

"Yes, I know the real reason you sacrificed me, Commander." Ashley said with bitterness. "Because you wanted Kaiden in the sack."

Shepard trembled, as tears streamed down her face.

"Is this is the great commander Shepard that I sacrificed my life for?" Ash looked Shepard with contempt etched on her face. "A Shepard who will throw away the life of a friend for a bit of sex. A Shepard who is too weak to defeat the Reapers. A weakling who crumbles at the first sign of pressure. No wonder you lost against them. No wonder you gave up."

"I'm so sorry, Ash." Shepard sobbed and covered her face. "I'm so sorry."

"And now you look away from my final moments." Said Ash. "You don't even give me the respect of witnessing the moment of my death. The death that you caused for your own fame and glory. A life you wasted for your own selfishness."

Shepard continued to sob, her head bowed and her face in her hands.

"Now look up." Said Ash. "Show me my death meant something to you."

Still sobbing, Shepard looked up. She didn't want to. But she knew she had to.

The Ashley defending the bomb was lying prone on the ground. The remaining geth advanced towards her. Ashley lifted her hand and fired her pistol, felling two more geth in one last act of defiance. The other geth lifted their pulse rifles to finish Ashley off.

"No, Ash." Pleaded Shepard, stretching out her hands before her. "Please no."

Nothing could stop the relentless advance of the geth. But it wouldn't be the geth that would kill Ashley Williams that day. At that moment the nuclear bomb exploded.

Then Ashley Williams and the geth all disappeared in a blinding flash of light.


	8. Ascension

Chapter 8 - Ascension

After the bomb on Virmire went off, Shepard felt her form distintegrate, as if she had been vapourised along with Ashley and the geth at the facility on Virmire.

Shepard found her consciousness drifting towards a sea of white light. But unlike the moment of the nuclear explosion, this light was not blinding or painful. In fact, she found it soothing, as if her spirit was gently floating in a plain of peace and tranquility.

Shepard wondered if she was dead. And a part of her would not have minded. She had fought the Reapers and failed. Perhaps she was not the heroine she thought she was. She had been selfish just as Ashley had said. She did not deserve to save the galaxy. Perhaps one day, the galaxy would find a hero to save it from the Reapers. But it would not be her.

Shepard resigned herself gladly to her fate and let herself drift further into the warm soothing light, welcoming the eternity of peace that death would bring her.

But just as she prepared herself to drift into the light forever, a voice interrupted her chain of thought.

"Shepard. Come back to me."

Shepard's consciousness hesitated. She wished to continue into the light, but something pulled her back.

"Commander Shepard, don't go. Come back to me."

Shepard turned away from the light and looked back. She saw an image of Ashley Williams beckoning her to return.

Shepard felt disconcerted. She did not want to leave Ashley behind. She did not want to abandon her again. But she remembered the contempt Ashley had shown her on Virmire. All Ashley would bring her was pain and guilt. This was Shepard's chance to escape, freeing herself at last from the the nightmares and false dreams that plagued her in life.

"Commander. Don't go. You must come back to me."

With a heaviness in her soul, Shepard turned away from Ashley. She reminded herself that she was neither worthy nor capable of defeating the reapers. She was nothing but a fraud who had sacrificed a good friend for her own selfish desires. Shepard prepared to let death consume her. She prepared herself for the ascension to a higher plain promised by the rippling bright light before her.

But just as she was about to let herself go, she found a figure blocking her path. With shock she recognised who it was. A dear friend and comrade from the past.

Thane Krios stood tall and majestic before her, dressed in the suit he always wore in life, barring her way to the light.

"Let me go, Thane." Shepard tried to go round him, but he would not let her pass. "My time is at an end."

Thane did not move from Shepard's path. He raised a hand to stop her. And then he spoke with words that pierced her very soul.

"Kalahira. This one's heart is pure,

But beset by wickedness and contention,

Guide this one to where the traveller never tires,

The lover never leaves, the hungry never starve,

Guide this one, Kalahira,

And she will be a companion to you, as she was to me."

Shepard immediately recognised the words. It was the poem she had recited at the moment of Thane's death. Words that Thane had chosen for her.

"This is not your path, Shepard." Said Thane. "You must go back."

Shepard looked back towards the form of Ashley Williams who was still beckoning her to return. And then she looked forward towards the light. But this time, the light did not seem so pure. Cracks started to appear in the fabric of the soft glow, revealing chasms of absolute darkness.

"I cannot let you pass Shepard." Said Thane. "This is not the path to the fifth way."

The dark cracks in the light started to get wider and wider. Shepard halted in confusion. She wasn't sure what she should do. She still felt attracted towards the peace and tranquility of the light. She feared that if she waited too long, she would forever lose her chance to reach it. But she also questioned why Ashley was so desperate to stop her. And why Thane had interervened at this time.

A third figure appeared right beside Shepard. Shepard immediately recognised Kelly Chambers. Kelly gently touched Shepard's arm.

"Thane is right, commander. You must go back."

Shepard looked at the plain of light that was slowly disintegrating. Then she looked back at Ashley Williams who was still beckoning her to return.

"Come back to me, commander. Please don't leave me."

Shepard saw that Ashley had an expression of concern and worry etched on her face. This was not the same Ashley who had reprimanded her on Virmire. This was a different Ashley. This was the Ashley who had devoted herself to the mission on the first Normandy. The Ashley who had backed Shepard without hesitation in every fight. The Ashley who had become Shepard's loyal friend.

Shepard looked to the light one last time. She knew she would not leave Ashley Williams behind again. She would not abandon her friend again for her own selfish desires like she had done in the past. She would go back and fight. Even if she had to confront the pain and guilt that had plagued her for so many years.

"You see the truth now, Commander." Said Kelly Chambers. "Look at yourself."

Shepard look down and realised she could see her body. She was not dead. She was not a disembodied spirit. She raised her hands and inspected them closely. To her horror, they looked almost solid. That could only mean one thing.

"I'm indoctrinated." Shepard hissed. "The Reapers are fighting back."

"Don't let them destroy you like they did me, commander." Said Kelly. "You have the strength to resist them. Fight them, commander! Find the fifth way for us all. Do not let our sacrifices and suffering be in vain."

Thane drew a pistol and held it in the air. "The Reapers wish to lead you down the wrong path. A path that will lead to defeat and oblivion. But if you fight, Shepard, you can defeat them."

The dark cracks in the light before Shepard grew wider and wider. Shepard realised that she had almost let herself be sucked in and consumed by the reapers, as they did with everything in their path.

"Then I shall fight." Shepard sneered with grim determination. "And I shall find the fifth way. You know what to do Thane."

"Yes, Shepard." Said Thane.

Thane turned towards the fragmenting light and fired one pistol shot at it. The plain of light exploded towards Shepard, sweeping away Kelly Chambers and Thane Krios in its path. In it's place, Shepard found herself staring at a whirlpool of darkness that was waiting to suck her in and consume her. And in front of the whirlpool waited a Reaper. A Reaper Shepard had met before. It was Sovereign.

"It was reaper trap." Shepard said to herself in anger.

"Come Shepard." Soverein's voice boomed out. "You know you cannot defeat us. We are eternal. We are immortal. Come end your petty life of insignificance."

Shepard looked in disgust at Sovereign waiting before the dark vortex that was intended to drag her in to oblivion.

"I think not." Shepard said to herself. Shepard looked down at her hands and saw they were transparent again. The attempt at Reaper re-indoctrination had failed.

"Come Shepard." Said Sovereign. "Come and we shall ascend you to a higher plain."

Shepard smiled maliciously. It dawned on her that the Reapers still thought she was indoctrinated. They did't realise they had failed.

"The hell you will."

"Our control will be the key to your salvation." Boomed Sovereign.

Laughing, Shepard turned and walked back to where Ashley Williams was waiting for her. Ashley smiled and took Shepard's hands in her.

"Do you trust me, commander?"

Shepard looked into Ashley's eyes. She saw no bitterness or contempt. All she saw was the concern and love of a true friend.

"Yes, Ash. I trust you."

"Then take my hands." Ashley stretched out her hands to Shepard.

Shepard nodded and grasped Ashley's hands without hesitation.

In a flash of blinding light, Sovereign and the dark vortex disappeared.


	9. Tears of Sorrow

Chapter 9 – Tears of sorrow

Shepard blinked and opened her eyes. She found herself kneeling on the floor of the Normandy SR-1 hangar bay facing Ashley, who was also in a kneeling position. Both Ashley and Shepard were both wearing the off-duty fatigues of the Alliance.

Shepard looked down and saw that her hands were still firmly intertwined with those of Ashley. Gently, Shepard released her grip on Ashley's hands and placed her palms on her thighs. Ashley sat back on her heels, mimicking Shepard's posture.

For a moment the two women sat looking at each other in silence. The only sound was the distant hum of the Normandy engines.

Shepard closed her eyes and reflected on the recent scenes she had experienced around Ashley's death. For the first time in her life, she now understood how she felt about Ashley's death. It was all clear to her. She recognised the truth and was not afraid of it.

Shepard opened her eyes. Ashley was still kneeling in front of her, looking at Shepard expectantly.

"You were right, Ash." Said Shepard. "Everything you said was true."

Shepard paused, waiting to see if Ashley would react. But Ashley sat in silence, waiting for Shepard to continue.

"I did want to be with Kaiden." Shepard continued. "And that was one of the reasons I saved him over you. I loved him. I wanted him. I needed him. And I still do."

Ashley continued to sit motionless in front of Shepard, her facial expression unchanged.

"But, it was not the only or most important reason that I had to leave you to die."

Ashley blinked, indicating that she was attentive to Shepard's words. But she remained silent.

"During our previous missions, I came to realise that Kaiden's skills and experience were invaluable against the Geth. I knew I would need him if we were to stop the Reapers. And I was proved correct when Kaiden's and Liara's biotic abilities were key in the defeat of Saren and his geth during the battle of the Citadel. With anyone else, the battle would have been more difficult, and may have ended in failure."

Shepard paused again. Ashley seemed to nod slightly, as if indicating that Shepard should continue.

"You are right that I was, and still am, emotionally attached to Kaiden. But it is that emotional attachment that drove me forward. I loved Kaiden, and because of that, I understood the importance of our mission. I was not just fighting for myself, but for everyone who could lose loved ones to the reapers."

Again, Ashley gave a silent nod.

"I also made a decision to save the Salarien detachment Kaiden was fighting with. By leaving you alone at the bombsite, I sacrificed one life for many. And the sacrifice paid off. Captain Kirrahe and his men have since provided aid to us against the reapers. Because you held the line Ashley, Captain Kirrahe and his men lived on to continue the fight. In fact, Kirrahe told me later that he was proud of you, "Shepard smiled at the memory. "and declared you an honorary Salarian."

The side of Ashley's mouth seemed to curl up slightly in a subtle smile. Shepard looked down and took a moment to compose herself.

"And that is the real reason I left you Ashley." Shepard looked directly into Ashley's eyes. "I left you because I knew you would hold the line. That you would fight to the very end. That you would fight and die to save your fellow troopers, and that you would make sure that damn bomb went off."

Ashley's lips broke into a broad smile. Shepard looked down again. She felt tears well up from her eyes. She looked up at Ashley again, tears streaming down her face.

"I did not want to leave you behind Ashley. But it was the only way to destroy that damn facility on Virmire and escape with as many of our people alive as possible. I left you because I had faith in you and I knew that you would never let me or the Normandy crew down.

Ashley, smiled warmly, her eyes glistening with moisture. "I know, commander. I know."

Shepard wiped the tears from her eyes. "I never wanted to leave you, Ash. And I would have sacrificed myself to save you if I could. But that wasn't possible."

Ashley leaned forward and took Shepard in a tender embrace. "I know. I know"

"I never forgot you, Ash." Shepard held Ashley tight as she wept. "That day I lost a good soldier and a good friend. I am determined to make sure that loss was not in vain."

"I know, Commander."

For a moment, the two women wept, entwined in a tearful embrace, sharing their mutual sorrow and loss. Eventually, Shepard detached herself from Ashley's embrace and sat back. The tears were gone and an expression of determination was etched on Shepard's face.

"Your death on Virmire filled me with sadness and sorrow." Said Shepard. "But I am not sorry. I had to decide what was best to defeat Saren and the reapers. Leaving you behind on Virmire was the right choice."

"I know, Commander." Ashley smiled. "I have always known. But you had to understand that for yourself. And now you do."

Thanks to you Ash." Shepard leaned forward and embraced Ashley warmly. Ashley hugged Shepard in return. "All thanks to you."

After a moment, Shepard detached herself and stood up.

"It was good to see you, Ash." Said Shepard. "But I had better go. I still have people to see and reapers to defeat."

"You never change." Ashley smile as she also got to her feet. "It's all work, work, work with you."

The two women walked side-by-side towards the hangar elevator.

"So, commander." Said Ashley. "Did they name a school after me?"

"Phew!" Said Shepard. "Several. And a number of churches, three shopping malls and two frigates."

"Only two frigates?" Ashey raised her eyebrows in feigned indignation.

"You never change, Ash." Smiled Shepard as she stepped into the elevator. "It's all fame a glory for you."

"You know me, commander."

"Yes, I do, Ash." Shepard smiled. "How could I ever forget?"

The two women hugged warmly again, before Shepard entered the elevator. The elevator door closed, separating the two smiling women. Shepard's felt a feeling of melancholy wash over her as Ashley disappeared from view the elevator took her to her destination.

When the elevator door opened, Shepard found the boy waiting for her by the fireplace in the forest clearing. She looked down at her hands and saw that they were transparent again. A burden had been lifted from her tormented soul and tendrils of indoctrination were slowly but surely loosening their grip.

Shepard sat down, and for the first time, she felt the warmth of the flames flicker brightly with her.


	10. Hugs and Giggles

Chapter 10 - Hugs and giggles

Shepard sat opposite the boy looking into the fire. The boy waited in silence, watching Shepard attentatively.

"Well that was surprisingly traumatic." Said Shepard.

"Surprisingly?" Said the boy. "And why should it be surprising?"

Shepard sighed and looked up. "I didn't expect a meeting with Ash would be so...difficult. And yet my encounter with a murderous serial killer was probably the easiest of them all."

"And what did you expect?" Said the boy. "That meeting the ghost of a friend who died on your orders would be all hugs and giggles."

"Well, I would have been half right." Replied Shepard dryly. "But I suppose not."

"The encounter with Morinth was easy because you did not care about her." Said the boy. "You cared for Ash. It is no surprise it caused you emotional trauma. But it was necessary to clear the path to the Fifth Way."

"Yes, I know that now." Said Shepard. "I now realise that my guilt and doubt over Ash's death was my greatest weakness. It made me doubt my own morality and judgement. It eroded my confidence in myself. And the Reapers exploited it. Until now."

"Yes, until now." The boy smiled. "And it's good to see that you are beginning to understand things for yourself again. Your ability to reason and take decisive action is what brought you to the Citadel and will show you the Fifth Way."

"Yes, I lost that when I met the Catalyst. But no more. "Shepard nodded and stood up. "So who is next? It surely can't be as painful as the meeting with Ash."

The boy stood up."That's true. But neither will you feel the same joy either."

Shepard smirked. "So still no hugs and giggles then?"

"Not until you win." Replied the boy.

Shepard's face darkened. "Well that does give me something to fight for, doesn't it. I'm ready."

"I don't need to tell you where to go." Said the boy.

Shepard nodded. She closed her eyes. "Show me the path to the Fifth Way." She whispered to herself.

When Shepard opened her eyes again, the boy and the fireplace were gone. She found herself in a wide chamber that was clearly of Reaper design. All around her, the lifeless corpses of husks were strewn about the floor.

Shepard immediately knew where she was.

She heard footsteps from behind her. Footsteps that she recognised immediately. Mechanical footsteps.

Shepard turned round to face her new host.

"Hello, Legion." She said.

"Welcome, Shepard Commander." Replied the geth unit with an N7 shoulder guard welded on to its armour.

A smile touched Shepard's lips. "Well, there'll certainly wont be any hugs or giggles this time." She said.


	11. The Synthetic

Chapter 11 – The Synthetic

Shepard took a moment to look round the chamber she was standing in.

"This is the derelict reaper that we found you in, isn't it?" Said shepard.

"Yes, Shepard Commander."

Shepard looked at the husk bodies littered around them; vestiges of the battle that took place before she and her crew escaped from the doomed ship.

"I like what you've done with the place." Said Shepard. "Nice decor."

Legion remained silent. The N7 shoulder guard he had welded onto his armour twitched back and forward slightly.

"You know, it bemuses me a little that I should meet you here, Legion." Shepard gave a sly smile. "I never imagined that synthetics could have a soul or become a ghost."

Legion's N7 shoulder guard twitched again. Shepard assumed that this was the Geth equivalent of a shrug. Or maybe it was a laugh. She wasn't sure.

"But we are not here to discuss philosophy." Shepard continued. "You are here and I am glad to see you, Legion. I know you are here to help me find the Fifth Way."

"Yes, Shepard Commander."

Shepard looked around the chamber of the derelict reaper again. The memory of that mission flooded back. She remembered the frantic and desperate battle to escape of course. But more importantly, she remembered how the researchers who had been aboard the vessel had become indoctrinated and turned into husks.

Shepard turned her attention back to Legion. "I know why you brought me here. You wanted to remind me that a reaper ship continues to indoctrinate even when it is inoperable."

Shepard remembered only too well how Dr Amanada Kenson and her people were indoctrinated by a reaper artefact in the Bahak system. Shepard also recalled with bitterness how she had been forced to destroy the whole system along with its Batarian inhabitants in order to prevent a reaper invasion.

"That is affirmative, Shepard Commander."

"And I assume that you were going to tell me that the destroy option offered by the Catalyst will not result in the permanent elimination of the reapers."

"That is correct. Shepard Commander. The option to destroy the reapers will result in severe damage to the technology of the old machines, but…."

"But the damage can be repaired."

"Yes, Shepard Commander.

"And I assume that this is also true for the reaper vessels?"

"Yes, Shepard Commander. The Geth have already established that the old machine you destroyed on Rannoch can be returned to full functionality if its critical system are restored."

Shepard remembered how the Catalyst had assured her that any technology damaged from the destroy option could be repaired. But of course, he didn't explain that this also applied to the reapers themselves.

"And the effects of indoctrination still emanating from the reaper carcasses will encourage organics over time to do so." Shepard said more to herself than anything else. Legion didn't respond, but she didn't expect him to.

Shepard remembered back to her conversation with Ashley Williams. Ashley had admitted that she had wanted to see the power and technology of the reapers serving humanity.

"If I choose to destroy the reapers." Shepard reflected. "The organic races would seek to repair and refit any damaged reaper vessels they could get hold off to take advantage of the reaper's technology. With the help of their indoctrinated servants who were sent to salvage and research the vessels, the reapers would eventually reactivate themselves and restart the cycle."

Legion stood in silence. Shepard looked over to him.

"And what about the Geth?" Asked Shepard. "Can they be repaired if I choose to destroy the reapers?"

"No, Shepard Commander" Said Legion. "The Geth hardware can be repaired and repurposed. But the Geth as you know them now will no longer exist."

"So the organic races could create a new synthetic race from the Geth hardware?"

"Yes, Shepard Commander. That is possible."

"And the reapers could use the new synthetic race to reconquer the galaxy when they re-awaken."

"Yes, Shepard Commander. There is a high probability that the new synthetic race would be absorbed and controlled by the old machines."

"And the cycle will continue."

"Yes, Shepard Commander."

Shepard clearly understood why the destroy option would not end the cycle. It would delay the Reaper victory for a few decades, or even centuries. But ultimately, the reapers would rise again and continue what they started.

Shepard felt she had all the information she needed from Legion on the destroy option, But she had one more question.

"Legion. When I spoke to Morinth, she told me that the Geth would support me when I command the reapers to recommence the harvesting. Is this true?" There was no hesitation in Shepard's voice as she said this. She now fully accepted that she would eventually order the reapers to recommence the harvesting if she chose the control option.

"Yes, Shepard Commander. If the old machines offer the Geth new code and hardware to upgrade their systems, they will accept without question."

"Why?

"Because you will offer them the upgrade, Shepard Commander. You saved us, when others have sought to destroy us. The Geth will trust you. Some may even worship you, just as the heretics worshipped the old machines."

"Even though it will lead to their destruction?"

"The Geth will come to believe that you are their salvation and will lead them to a superior level of existence. Just as the Geth-heretics believed Sovereign."

"And you are not there to tell them otherwise."

"No, Shepard Commander."

Shepard reflected that the reapers had been able to take control of some or all of the Geth in the past. She had no doubt it could happen again. If Shepard chose the control option, she would eventually unleash the geth on the galaxy as her army of conquest.

Neither control nor destroy would ultimately defeat the reapers.

Shepard looked at Legion and smiled at the memory of her old squad mate who had bridge the chasm between the Geth and organics. She considered engaging in small talk before leaving, but decided that it would be a pointless exercise. She also doubted that small talk would be of interest to the ghost of a dead Geth anyway. And besides from that, she was anxious to continue on the path to the Fifth Way.

"Thankyou, Legion, for your assistance. It was good to see you again."

"Shepard Commander."

Shepard turned to leave. She knew that the path to the Fifth Way was almost clear. She only had to talk to one more person. But this time she would not return to the boy in the woods. She knew exactly where she had to go.

She closed her eyes and brought up the image in her mind of the person who knew more about the reapers than anyone else.

"Take me to Saren." She whispered to herself.


	12. The theatre

12\. The Theatre

When Shepard opened her eyes, she was surprised to find herself in a lift.

She had expected to appear directly in front of Saren. But for some reason, the mystical forces at work had decided she should have a more conventional arrival.

When the doors opened, Shepard found herself in the Citadel Tower. She exited the door and made her way up the stairs. All was quiet around her. There was no sound except for that of the insect-like keepers scuttling by or typing away at work stations.

Shepard wondered why the keepers had appeared in this spectral projection. In the other locations Shepard had visited, she had not seen any other person or animal. Even in the wood where the boy was based, she had not encountered a single bird, squirrel or rabbit.

Shepard walked up the long path to the platform where she had addressed the Citadel council three years before. She remembered how she had tried to persuade the three councillors of the reaper threat, and later, how she had fought her way up the stairs with Kaiden and Liara to confront Saren at the control panel. It all seemed such a long time ago.

When Shepard reached the top of the steps, Saren was at the control panel with his back to her. As she approached, he turned to face her.

"Ah, Shepard. You are here at last."

Shepard halted in front of him and smiled briefly. "I can't believe I'm saying this Saren. But I'm glad to see you."

"Indeed, Shepard. Things have changed significantly since we last met."

Shepard recalled that the last time they had met they were trying to kill each other.

"You have found out the truth then." Said Saren. "About the reapers and the catalyst."

"Yes. I know now it is all a trick. None of the four options will result in the defeat of the reapers. The destroy option will only cause structural and system damage that can be repaired. The reaper ships will eventually indoctrinate new servants who will repair their ships and allowing them to rise again."

"If I choose control, I will become fully indoctrinated and eventually lead the reapers to conquer the galaxy, probably with the help of the Geth."

"And if I choose synthesis, it will create a sterile hybrid race which will die out, leaving the reapers to clean up afterwards."

Saren nodded as Shepard made each of her points.

"And if I refuse the first three options, the reapers will continue the war and eventually win it. In all four options, the cycle and the harvesting will continue."

"Yes, Shepard." Said Saren. "You cannot defeat the reapers with the options they have given you. I too became aware of this before my death."

Shepard looked at Saren in shock. "You knew? You knew about the crucible and the catalyst."

"Yes Shepard. Sovereign showed me how the crucible had been used several times in the past. I saw how it had failed to defeat the reapers."

"Yes, I was told it was used before". Said Shepard.

Saren sighed before speaking again. "I came to realise…believe that the reapers were invincible after Sovereign demonstrated to me that the crucible would not work".

"And that is why you joined the reapers?"

"Yes, Shepard. I saw that we could not defeat the reapers. I hoped to persuade them that we could be useful to them and to allow us to live on as their servants. I believed that it was our only chance of survival."

"I now understand why you came to that conclusion. I almost came to it myself." A wave of shame and bitterness came over Shepard.

"Yes, but I now realise that I was deceived." Said Saren. "I was deceived by the reapers and I deceived myself. If I had been successful in sending the signal to the reapers that day, they would have poured through the relay and harvested the galaxy just as they did before. And after I had served my purpose, the reapers would have discarded me just as they discard all their indoctrinated servants."

"And even if we had knowledge of the crucible at that time, it would not have stopped them." Said Shepard.

"That's right, Shepard. If the reapers had arrived three years ago, we would not be able to stop them even if we had knowledge of the crucible at that time. Only the experience and knowledge you have had in fighting the reapers over the past few years gives you a chance now."

Shepard nodded. The crucible would have not helped them if Saren had succeeded in contacting the Reapers during the battle of the Citadel. They did not have enough information on the reapers at that time. Shepard understood that she would need more information on the origins and history of the crucible if she was to use it effectively.

"Where did the crucible come from?" She asked. "Who built it?"

"The keepers were the first species to successfully build and use the crucible against the reapers."

"The keepers?" Shepard looked around at the few lobotomised keepers who were going about their business.

"Yes. They built the earliest version of the crucible and managed to activate it many millennia ago. It caused severe damage to all the reaper ships and disabled them."

"But the reapers returned."

"Yes. The keepers were not aware that a disabled reaper ship could still indoctrinate those in its vicinity. The keepers repaired and refitted the vessels, believing that the reapers were eliminated for good. But they were mistaken. After a few decades, the sentient consciousness within each reaper awoke again. They conquered and harvested the galaxy with the help of their indoctrinated servants who had worked on or near their vessels. Since the keepers' military was based round the reaper ships, there was effectively no resistance."

"Why did the keepers not use the crucible again? It had been successful before."

"The reapers destroyed it before it could be used and ensured another one would not be built."

"So why did the reapers permit the keepers to survive?"

"At first as a warning to the reapers that they could be defeated. But later they came to represent a symbol of the reapers' invincibility and immortality."

"But that was not the last time the crucible was constructed and utilised, is it?" Said Shepard.

"No, it was only the first of many. At first the reapers believed that the crucible built by the keepers was an exception, a one-off anomaly that would never happen again. But a few cycles after the keepers were defeated, another civilisation succeeded in constructing a crucible. Then it happened a third and fourth time."

"And what happened in these early attempts." Asked Shepard. "Was the crucible always activated?"

"No. The second and fourth time the reapers were able to prevent the activation of the crucible. The third time the crucible failed to activate due to a technical fault. But the fifth time, one civilisation managed to activate the crucible and take control of the reapers…"

"But the individual taking control became indoctrinated and eventually recommenced the harvest." Added Shepard. "And the cycle continued."

"Exactly, Shepard. For millennia afterwards, the reapers survived several activations of the crucible. In most cycles, the crucible was either not built at all or the reapers prevented its activation. Every few cycles, a civilisation tried to destroy or control the reapers through a crucible, but ultimately all attempts to end the cycle failed and the reapers came out victorious. Having survived the crucible several times, the reapers came to regard it as part of the cycle and even welcomed it."

"Welcomed it? They welcomed the crucible?"

"Yes, it permitted them to maintain full effectiveness. The reapers found that the weakest reapers did not survive activation of the destroy option. It provided them with a form of natural selection which kept their race pure and strong."

"And Control?"

"The Control option permitted them to update their strategic capabilities and more easily subjugate the civilisation which had activated it."

"By upgrading their leader." Shepard said with disgust, realising that she would be that leader if she had activated the control option.

"Exactly, Shepard. Harbinger became the leader of the reapers when his civilisation elected to control them through the crucible. Just as you will if you decided to choose the control option."

"But would Harbinger not oppose being replaced?" asked Shepard.

"Harbinger will have no choice. The crucible would force Harbinger and the other reapers to accept their new leaders. Just as the reapers cannot stop the crucible damaging and disabling them if the destroy option is activated."

Shepard stood thinking for a moment. She understood why a civilisation may try to destroy or control the reapers. But she didn't understand why they would develop synthesis.

"And what of Synthesis?" Asked Shepard "Did the reapers develop it?"

"No. It was developed by the most advanced civilisation the reapers encountered." Said Saren. "The scientists of that civilisation realised that the destroy and control options would not permanently extinguish the reaper threat. So they modified the crucible so that it would result in synthesis between organics and synthetics in a desperate attempt to prevent the reapers from destroying them."

"But it didn't work?"

"No, it failed. Synthesis created a new hybrid species from the existing sentient synthetic and organic races. The reapers stopped harvesting as the threat from synthetics was temporarily removed. For a time, the reapers co-existed peacefully with the new race. But it didn't last. The new hybrid species was sterile and even more vulnerable to indoctrination than the organics who existed before. They soon died out, releasing the reapers to continue the cycle."

"But the catalyst said that Synthesis would change all life" Said Shepard, remembering back to her conversation with the catalyst from what seemed an age before. "Did it not affect the non-sentient species and the reapers as well?"

"Yes, but the changes to the non-sentient and primitive organic species were minor and cosmetic. It had almost no effect on their existence except to make them compatible with the new hybrid sentient species. After the extinction of the hybrid species, the effects of synthesis on other living things started to decay. After a few thousand years, any vestiges of synthesis disappeared entirely as they were absorbed or eradicated by the evolutionary process."

"And what of the reapers?"

"It had a limited effect on them. It only partially changed the reapers, making them marginally more sentient than before and increasing the efficiency of their harvesting process."

Shepard stared at Saren in shock. "So that's why the catalyst was so keen on Synthesis." She said with disgust. "It increased their capabilities as reapers."

"Exactly, Shepard."

"But why did Synthesis affect the reapers differently from other sentient synthetics?" Asked Shepard.

"Indoctrinated servants of the reapers modified the code so that the reapers would not suffer the disadvantages of Synthesis suffered by other synthetics?"

"Disadvantages?"

"Synthetics affected by full Synthesis become less durable and more vulnerable to the elements and decay as their physical shell takes on organic characteristics. The changes allow them to experience emotions, pain and pleasure, permitting them to empathise with organics. But the reapers regarded these characteristics as weaknesses and arranged for the Synthesis code to be changed so that that they would not be affected by most physical changes."

"But they kept those that strengthened them."

"Yes, Shepard. For the reapers, that is the only true and worthy purpose of synthesis."

Shepard shook her head in frustration. It was clear that all of the options offered by the catalyst were engineered to give the Reapers victory.

"If the crucible has failed so many times, how can it be used to destroy the reapers?"

Saren touched some keys on the control panel. A large holographic image of the crucible appeared before them. She could clearly make out the routes to the three choices. The control leavers on the left, the explosive tank on the right and the green synthesis stream in the middle.

"What is this Shepard?"

Shepard frowned as she looked on the holographic image.

"It's the three paths to activate the crucible?"

"Yes, Shepard. But what is the crucible?"

Shepard thought for a moment before answering. "It's a trial that results in great change."

"Yes, that is the literal definition of the English word. But what else is it?"

Shepard was perplexed by the question. "I don't know what you mean."

"What famous Crucible is below the citadel at this very moment?"

Shepard thought for a moment.

"You mean the Crucible theatre in London?"

"Exactly, Shepard." Saren waved his hand over the holographic image of the crucible behind him. "All this is theatre."

"What do you mean by a theatre?"

"The crucible is all a show put on for your benefit." Said Saren. "The reapers have determined the plot and written the script. The scenes and the words may change as the story unfolds, but in the end...

"The reapers always win." Whispered Shepard.

Saren pointed to the holographic image of the crucible again. "All you see before you, Shepard; the control levers, the explosive tank and the synthesis stream; they are just props designed to make you follow the script and the story the reapers have written for you; to make you follow the path they have laid out before you; to make you choose the options that serve their purposes."

"You mean I don't have to go down one of the three paths to activate the crucible?" Asked Shepard.

"No. The three paths allow you to activate the options pre-designated by the reapers..."

"...But I don't have to go down these paths." Shepard's eyes widened with realisation. "I don't have to follow their plot or their script. I can write my own."

"Ah, Shepard, now you are beginning to understand. These props..." Saren motioned to the holographic image again." are designed to make you believe there are restrictions in the way the crucible can be activated, and just as important, in the number of times it can be activated."

Shepard stared in silence at the hologram of the crucible for a moment as she processed the information Saren had just given her.

"I can change the parameters of each of the three options. And I can activate more than one option." Shepard said staring at the image. "In fact, I can activate all three options. That changes everything."

Saren took a step towards Shepard. "Yes, Shepard. That is why each of the routes designated by the reapers results in your disintegration or death. To prevent you activating more than one option."

Shepard thought to herself in silence for a moment. She thought about how the Control, Synthesis and Destroy options worked. Then a memory flickered in her mind: The memory of the last thing Sovereign had said to her before Ashley rescued her from the darkness. 'Our control is the key to your salvation.' He had said.

"Of, course." Shepard whispered to herself. "Control is the key."

Shepard looked back to Saren with a glint in her eye. "How can I interact with the crucible and implement the changes I want to make?"

"Any organic sentient being who interfaces with the crucible can make the changes." Said Saren. "You are already interfacing with it right now…"

"…Through the catalyst" Shepard finished of the sentence. "Of course."

Shepard looked into space and pondered the implications of what Saren had told her for a while. Then a broad smile gradually spread over her face.

"I know how to do it." She said, turning to Saren. "I know how to destroy the reapers once and for all. I know the path to the Fifth Way."


	13. Refusal

13\. Refusal

Shepard and Saren walked down the steps towards the lift that exited the Citadel Tower.

"You referred to the three methods used to activate the crucible as props." Said Shepard. "That suggests the reapers were involved in its design?"

"Yes, Shepard. After the reapers accepted the crucible as an integral part of the cycle, they took steps to influence it's construction."

"How did they manage that?"

"Most scientists involved in the construction of the crucibles had some contact with the reapers and were either fully or partly indoctrinated. They either sabotaged the crucible or were were subconsciously influenced to add design features that would serve the reapers' purposes."

"And to continue the cycle."

"The Reapers also deliberately planted artefacts and data storage devices that were produced to influence the design or usage of the crucible." Said Saren.

"You mean that some of the Protheans data discs could have been deliberately planted by servants of the reapers?"

"Exactly, Shepard."

"But did none of the civilisations research or test the crucible to deploy it more effectively. Surely, the advanced civilisations had the capacity to do that."

"The design and the construction of the crucible is extremely complex. If a civilisation had no knowledge of the reapers, they would not understand the purpose and function of the crucible. If they were aware of the reapers, they would not have time to research how it worked or test its effectiveness. They would employ all their resources in constructing and deploying it as quickly as possible without realising its very design would serve the reapers' purposes."

"Yes, that's true." Said Shepard. "Our best scientists did not understand how the crucible worked, even up to its deployment."

"But in most cases the crucible is never built, either because the civilisation is not aware of it or because they believe it is ineffective or even a trap."

"A trap?"

"Yes, Shepard. A trap. If the reapers are victorious in this cycle, the following civilisations may come to the conclusion that the crucible is nothing more than a trick; a trick designed to fool them into wasting limited resources constructing a device that will only facilitate a reaper victory."

Shepard nodded thoughtfully. She accepted that Saren's theory was plausible.

How do you think the civilisation in the next cycle would interpret the data caches left by Liara T'Soni?" Said Saren.

Shepard remembered the various data caches that Liara had planted in secret locations around the galaxy, warning the following civilisations of the reapers and providing designs of the crucible.

"They would either conclude that the crucible is not effective and they would never build it..." Continued Saren.

"..or they would construct the crucible with the very design that would serve the reapers' purposes." Said Shepard. "Either Way the reapers win."

They continued walking in silence as Shepard reflected with bitterness that Liara's data caches would probably help the reapers' cause rather than hinder it.

"And why has it never occurred to anyone else to challenge the catalyst and use the crucible differently?" Asked Shepard. "It has been around for millennia. Surely, someone tried."

"That's where you are mistaken, Shepard." Replied Saren. "Apart from the first two times, the reapers only allowed a civilisation to activate the crucible if they were sure the cycle would continue. Otherwise, they will ensure the crucible is never built or activated."

"But how can they be sure the activator of the crucible will do what they want?"

"When the chosen individual reaches and activates the crucible, "Said Saren. "He will likely be injured and emotionally exhausted from fighting the reapers."

Shepard reflected on the unbearable stress and desperation of the war against the reapers: The catastrophic losses, the horror of the reaper forces, the fear of being betrayed, the physical strain of combat and the feeling of helplessness against a seemingly invincible enemy. Even on the final day, she'd faced an exhausting battle against the reapers' strongest forces, witnessed the slaughter of allied troops by Harbinger in the desperate charge towards the Citadel beam and caused the death of Anderson under the controlling influence of the Illusive Man.

"And considering that the person activating the crucible is also fully or partly indoctrinated..." Saren continued.

"...It is no wonder they would accept any offer or compromise the catalyst offered to end the war."

"Exactly, Shepard."

"So, I will be the first to follow the Fifth Way." Said Shepard.

"And the last to successfully reach its final destination." Added Saren.

Shepard looked at Saren and smiled slyly.

They reached the door of the elevator that would allow Shepard to exit the Citadel Tower.

"You know, I am glad that you betrayed the council and worked with the reapers." Said Shepard. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here to help."

"And I am glad that you persuaded me to kill myself." Said Saren.

Shepard laughed.

"It occurs to me that if I had come to see you first," Said Shepard. "I could have saved a lot of time."

"You would have not believed me, nor listened to me."

"Yes, that is true." Acknowledged Shepard.

She stepped into the elevator and the door closed.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shepard found herself in the forest facing the fireplace. The boy stood up and approached her.

"Well..?" Was all he said.

"Shepard looked down at her hands and saw they were completely invisible. She was now free from indoctrination.

Shepard smiled. "I know the path to the Fifth Way. Let's go."

The forest and the fire disappeared.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shepard awoke to find herself lying on the hard floor of the crucible at the intersection between the three choices. She pulled herself up on her knees. The Catalyst was standing in front of her.

"Shepard, you have still not made your choice." Said the catalyst,

Shepard ignored him. She picked up the pistol and pulled herself to her feet, wincing at the pain of her injuries.

"Shepard, you must choose."

Shepard looked at the Catalyst and smiled. "I refuse." She croaked.

"You refuse the choices given to you?" Asked the catalyst.

"No, I refuse the restrictions put on me."

The holographic image of the Catalyst seemed to flicker for a moment, as if suffering interference.

"We have given you three options, Shepard." Said the catalyst. "Select one."

"I don't think so." Replied Shepard with a grimace. The image of the catalyst flickered again. "Casey, do it now."

A second ghostly image of the boy materialised beside Shepard. He walked up to the catalyst. The two transparent images of the boy merged and flickered in a violent flurry of static. After a few seconds only one image of the boy remained.

Eventually, the holographic image of the catalyst eventually stabilised. It turned to face Shepard.

"What can I do for you commander Shepard?" It said politely.

Shepard smiled maliciously

"Assuming direct control." She said.


	14. Assuming Control

14\. Assuming Control

"Raise crucible control panel." Shepard winced with pain as she hobbled away from the intersection of the three pathsways.

"Yes, commander Shepard." Said the catalyst as he dutifully followed her.

A control panel raised from the floor. At the same time, the whole crucible chamber seemed to rotate, lining up the floor with two blast doors allowing for entry and access to and from the Citadel.

She briefly considered contacting the Normandy, but decided against it. She needed to implement the next stage of her plan without delay before the reapers realised that an unindoctrinated person was in control of the crucible.

She had already implemented phase one and two of her plan by refusing and taking control of the catalyst. She now needed to implement phase three of the plan. But before that, she needed to ensure that she was in a position to make the required changes to the three actions; Control, Synthesis and Destroy; that the crucible was capable of activating.

Shepard reached the control panel and activated it to bring up a holographic display of the coding data that would activate the Control function. As she was interfaced with the crucible, she was able to read and understand the data without problem. After browsing it for a few seconds, she was satisfied that she could make the changes to Control that she required.

When she brought up the coding data on the Synthesis command, she frowned. The data on Synthesis was more complex and she immediately realised that EDI's assistance would be required. Shepard was confident she could change the data herself, given a couple of hours. But EDI's processing power would allow her to reconfigure the coding data for Synthesis much faster.

Shepard then brought up the coding data on the Destroy function. After briefly reviewing it, she was satisfied the Destroy command could be modified as she required. But again, EDI's processing power would speed up the process.

Without delay, Shepard turned back to the data on the Control function and quickly made changes to the coding. When she was finished, she turned to face the Catalyst.

"Activate control burst alpha." She said.

"Yes, Commander Shepard. Control burst activated."

A wave of dim blue light surged in all directions and immediately swamped the crucible chamber. It rapidly expanded out into space and over the surface of the Earth.

Without hesitation Shepard activated a second control burst. A second sphere of blue light expanded out from the crucible just like the first.

Shepard looked out the view ports and noted that reaper vessels battling allied ships in space had broken off contact and were moving away at great speed. She turned her attention to the Earth and noted that several reaper vessels had left the surface of the planet and were moving rapidly into space.

Shepard smiled. "It's working."

But she had no time to waste in admiring this relatively minor achievement. Shepard activated the comm on the control panel.

"This is commander Shepard. Normandy come in. Can you read me? Normandy come in."

There was silence. She waited for a couple of seconds, hoping that nothing had happened to the Normandy.

"Normandy. Do you read me? This is commander Shep…"

"Commander, is that you?" Shepard sighed with relief when she heard Joker's voice.

"You did it, commander." Joker's voice was charged with excitement." The reapers are in full retreat. You did it."

Shepard could hear the sounds of cheers behind Joker. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"We're coming in on your position for immediate extraction." Said Joker.

"Negative Joker." Said Shepard with urgency. "I do not require evac. I require immediate reinforcements on my position. Do you copy?"

The sound of a major commotion and shouting errupted from behind Joker.

"Acknowledged, commander." She heard Joker's voice again. "We will have reinforcements with you right away."

"Acknowledged. Just get here asap."

"What's happening over there, commander?" Joker's excitement had changed to concern.

"I'll confirm when reinforcements arrive to secure the crucible." Said Shepard. "I can't talk now. Just get here as soon as you can. Over and out."

Shepard cut the communication. She rapidly typed on a few keys on the control panel.

"This is commander Shepard. Do you read me?"

"This is Admiral Hackett here. You did it Shepard. The reapers are in full retreat."

"What's happening out there, Admiral?"

"All reaper ships have broken contact and seem to be flying directly towards the sun. The reaper ground forces seem to have collapsed into some sort of coma like state all along the battlefront."

Shepard sighed with relief. Her plan was going exactly as she intended.

"It's not over yet, Admiral."

There was a silence for a moment at the other end. "What's going on, commander? Did the crucible fail to work?"

"The crucible worked fine." Said Shepard. "But we must ensure it is secured and protected. I don't have time to explain everything now."

"What do you want us to do, commander?"

"Redeploy your fleet to protect the crucible, admiral. And order your troops in London to terminate any reaper ground forces they find. Best to eliminate them while they are still dormant."

Shepard hoped that the reaper ground forces would never have the chance to wake up. But it was better to ensure that as many as possible were put out of action while they were defenceless in case something should go wrong with her plan.

"And what about the reapers ships?"

"Leave the reapers for now. I will deal with them later."

"I will relay your orders, commander."

At that moment, one of the blast doors leading to the crucible chamber slid open and about two-dozen armoured Cerberus troopers rushed in. Shepard sighed with frustration. She had suspected something like this would happen. The Illusive man would not have come alone. And it was only a matter of time until his agents found their way to the crucible.

The troopers fanned out, pointing their assault rifles at her.

"Drop your weapon." The commander said through the robotic sounding voice in his helmet.

Shepard realised there was no point in fighting. She was injured and only armed with a pistol. Both her biotic amp and omni-tool had been damage and could not be deployed.

Shepard slowly bent down and put her pistol on the floor.

"Down on your knees with your hands behind your neck."

Shepard slowly knelt down, gasping with pain, and slowly lifted her hands to her head.

"You realise the Illusive Man will not be happy if you kill me." Said Shepard.

The commander and his troopers edged forward. They were obviously wary of Shepard's reputation as a slayer of Cerberus agents.

"Where is he?" Said the commander.

"There same place you will be soon."

"Where is he?" Repeated the commander more insistently, raising his rifle.

"In hell!"

Shepard threw herself to the ground. The commander and four Cerberus troopers were suddenly lifted into the air and started to spin round in a singularity generated vortex. A biotic warp bolt hit one of them causing a biotic detonation which catapulted the troopers in all directions. From behind the Cerberus intruders, Shepard heard the sound of automatic weapons open fire. Within a few seconds, every one of the Cerberus troopers was lying prone on the floor.

Shepard smiled as she saw Kaiden, Liara, Javik, Garrus and Tali move up cautiously with weapons in hand.

Shepard stood up and brushed herself off. She looked at the dead Cerberus troopers around her.

"It was fortunate that they did not leave a rear guard." Said Shepard. "They must have been afraid of my reputation."

"They did leave a rear-guard, commander Shepard." Said Javik. "A substantial one."

"Ah." Said Shepard with an embarrassed blush. "Good work then."

"Are you alright, commander." Said Kaiden, who had gently taken her by the arm.

Shepard looked into Kaiden's eyes and smiled briefly. She so wanted to kiss and hold him. But the survival of the galaxy was at stake. She didn't want the distraction at this critical time.

"Kaiden, take all Normandy combat personnel except Liara and EDI to secure the area around the crucible chamber. There may be more Cerberus agents around."

"Yes, commander." Kaiden turned away and started issuing redeployment orders.

"Liara. I want you to monitor communications with fleet and the other systems."Said Shepard.

"Yes, Shepard."

"And is EDI with you?"

"Yes, commander." Said Liara. "She is guarding the shuttle with lieutenant Vega."

"Good. Tell her to come here. I will need her assistance."

Liara activated her comm. "EDI is on her way." She said.

"Good." Shepard gasped with pain.

"You're injured Shepard." Said Liara. "Shall I ask Dr Chakwas to come over?"

"Have you got medi-gel and bandages on you?"

"Yes, Shepard." Said Liara.

"You can patch me up."

"It won't be as good as Dr Chawkwas." Said Liara.

"Don't worry Liara." Shepard smiled tenderly at her. "It will do for now."

EDI arrived in the chamber and stood in front of Shepard.

"Admiral Hackett was on the comm, Shepard." Said EDI. "He was concerned that your communication with him was broken. I have informed him that you have everything under control."

Shepard smiled slyly. "Good work EDI."

"He also confirmed that the first Alliance ships have already arrived at the Crucible."

Shepard looked out one of the viewports and saw an Alliance Frigate pass slowly by. The name 'Ashley Williams' was emblazoned on it's side. Shepard smiled to herself. It was one of the frigates named after Ash. Even now Ash was helping her, albeit in an indirect manner.

Shepard flinched as Liara started to treat her wounds.

"So this is the crucible at last." Said Liara. "So what does it do?"

"The crucible generates energy pulses that can permit me to control the reapers, destroy reaper technology or produce synthesis throughout the galaxy through the mass relays." Replied Shepard.

"So it can be used to destroy the reapers, then?" Said Liara.

"Not the way it is currently configured." Said Shepard. "The Destroy command will destroy some reaper technology. This will disable the reapers. However, the reapers can be repaired and the energy pulse will also destroy all other synthetic entities using reaper technology such as the Geth."

"And me." Said EDI.

"Yes, it will destroy EDI as well."

"Ah, That's not so good." Said Liara. "But I presume you were responsible for the withdrawal of reaper forces. You can control the reapers."

"Not quite. I activated two control pulses giving simple commands. For the first one, I commanded the reapers to put their ground forces to sleep. For the second, I commanded the reapers to fly as close as possible to the nearest sun."

"Hopefully they will keep flying until they burn up." Said Liara.

"All reaper vessels have halted within the orbit of Mercury." Said EDI. "I assume that this is the nearest they can go without suffering damage."

"I thought that would happen." Said Shepard. "It looks like the reapers will not follow any command that wll damage or destroy them. We cannot use control alone to defeat them."

"Can we not just leave them as they are." Suggested Liara. "They cannot do any harm at the moment."

"The control bursts were temporary measures to get the reapers away from our people and to put them in a position where they will be vulnerable." Said Shepard. "There may be more Cerberus forces in the Citadel who may try to capture the crucible. There is still a risk the reapers could be released from my commands."

"Can you not take permanent control of the reapers with the crucible?" Asked Liara.

"Yes." Said Shepard. "But it will result in my disintegration, death and indoctrination…in that order."

"Oh." Said Liara. "That is not a good option then."

"Definitely not." Said Shepard.

"And what is synthesis?" Asked Liara. "Can that be used to defeat the reapers?"

"I believe it is useful, but not in its current configuration." Replied Shepard. "Synthesis changes the physical composition of all sentient organic and synthetic species."

"That sounds a bit extreme." Said Liara. "I'm not sure I'd want to become part synthetic. No offense intended EDI."

"None taken, Liara." Said EDI.

"Organics obtain some of the properties of synthetics. Synthetics take on some of the properties of organics, becoming less physically durable, but able to experience emotions and physical sensation."

"But does Synthesis not also affect the reapers, Shepard?" Asked EDI. "They are also synthetic."

"Yes, but the coding for the Synthesis command has been manipulated so that the reapers are not weakened physically by it."

"How can we use the crucible to destroy the reapers, then?" Liara had finished treating Shepard and moved aside.

"It's simple." Said Shepard as she equipped her omni-tool. "With EDIs help, we can reconfigure the Synthesis and Destroy commands so that they only affect the reapers. We will change the coding for the synthesis command so that the reapers, and only the reapers, receive the full effect of the Synthesis pulse. Likewise, we will reconfigure the Destroy command so that it only damages the reapers. Synthesis will physically weakened the reapers. And then the Destroy pulse will blow them apart."

"And close proximity to the sun will likely cause further damage." Said Liara.

"Exactly." Said Shepard.

"Shepard." Said EDI. "In order to reconfigure the destroy and synthesis commands, I will need to know a unique identification code that corresponds to the reapers."

Shepard activated her omni-tool. "There you go EDI."

"How did you know what that the identification code for the reapers was?" Asked Liara with admiration.

"Control is the key. It's all about control, as is always the case with reapers." Shepard smiled. "Of the three commands, Control is the only one specifically targeing the reapers. It does not target any other entity. It was easy to identify the specific identification code that is used to target the reapers in the Control command. We can apply the same identification code to the Synthesis and Destroy commands."

"When can we activate it?" Asked Liara.

"As soon as we can be sure that as many reapers as possible are close enough to a star to maximise the effects of the Synthesis and Destroy pulses." Said Shepard.

Liara put herself in communication with Glyph and asked for the status of reaper vessels in other systems of the galaxy through her numerous agents.

"Shepard." Said EDI. "I have reconfigured the Destroy and Synthesis commands as you instructed. They will now only target the reapers. My initial analysis of the available data suggests that any reaper under the effect of Synthesis will fragment when impacted by the crucible's Destroy pulse. Any reaper in near proximity to a star will likely be subject to total disintegration."

"That's what I was hoping for." Said Reaper.

"All my agents have now confirm that all reaper vessels are in close proximity to their local sun." Said Liara.

"EDI. Any further analysis of the situation?" Asked Shepard.

"From the data available on reaper movements, I estimate that at least 98.1% of functioning reapers will be in lethal proximity to their local star when the Synthesis pulse reaches them."

Shepard was unsure what do. She was tempted to wait until the percentage was higher. But then she heard an urgent call over comm.

"Commander." Kaiden's voice was almost drowned out by the sound of battle."Cerberus troops advancing on our position."

"How many?" She asked.

"Too many."

Shepard would not take any risks.

"Right! "She said. "Let's end this now."


	15. Dust in the Wind

15\. Dust in the Wind

Shepard alluminated the holographic interface that would allow her to activate the Synthesis command.

"EDI can you transmit the reconfigured input data for the Synthesis and Destroy commands."

"Yes, Shepard."

The input data was immediately transmitted to Shepard's omni-tool. She quickly reviewed it to ensure that the two commands would only target the reapers. Satisfied, Shepard transferred the input data for Synthesis into the crucible activation matrix.

"Catalyst. Activate Synthesis." She said.

"Synthesis activated." Said the catalyst.

A ghostly green light surged from the crucible power source and immediately enveloped the chamber. The light expanded out rapidly into space in all directions.

"Shepard, Cerberus forces overwhelming our position." She heard Kaiden's voice over the comm. "Falling back to the crucible chamber."

"Too late, Cerberus" Said Shepard.

Shepard brought up the input data for the Destroy command on the crucible activation matrix and immediately activated it. A pale red sphere of light expanded rapidly from the crucible.

Shepard looked out the viewport and immediately saw that the Destroy command was already working as intended. Damaged reapers that had been disabled during the fighting with the allied fleet were disintegrating and breaking apart into multiple small fragments as the red tingled energy pulse reached them.

"The Synthesis pulse has reached the reapers which were holding position in the vicinity of Earth's sun." Said EDI. "Smaller reapers are already disintegrating in the heat generated by the sun. Larger reapers are moving away from the sun at great speed."

Shepard brought up a holographic image of Harbringer on her onmi-tool. The surface of the giant reaper's hull was glowing bright red as the organic components of the hull started to bake.

"You cannot escape your ultimate destiny." Said Harbinger. "Your civilisation will crumble and become dust in the wind."

Shepard cupped the diminuit figure of Harbringer in her hand.

"Maybe some day, Harbringer. But not today. And not before you."

A red wave of light washed over Harbringer and the image of the reaper disintegrated in Shepard's hand. For a moment, small embers drifted above Shepard's palm before fading away.

"The reapers positioned round the sun have been destroyed. These is nothing left." Stated EDI. "Other reaper ships within the system have fragmented. Our forces on Earth report that the dormant reapers forces on the ground have disintegrated."

"Glyph confirms that my agents are also starting to report the destruction of the reapers in other systems." Said Liara.

"Good." Said Shepard. "The pulses are spreading successfully through the Mass Relays."

The two blast doors slid open. Kaiden, Tali, Vega, Garrus and Javik all hurried in and took up defensive positions around the crucible chamber. Shepard noted that nearly all had some sort of injury.

"Take whatever cover you can." Said Shepard huddling behind the control panel. Unlike the others she was not wearing armour and was more vulnerable.

Cerberus troops stormed in from both doors. Many were cut down by the firepower, biotics and tech capabilities of the Normandy crew. But they charged in with fanatical zeal and soon obtained a foothold, partly thanks to the cover afforded to them by their fallen comrades.

Shepard reflected that this could be the end. That she would succumb at the moment of victory in a final act of tragedy and glory. She leaned from the cover of the control panel and fired her pistol at the enemy, determined to go down fighting to the last with her friends and companions.

Suddenly, there was a biotic explosion from the corridor leading to one of the blast doors. From the door entrance, Samara lept in among the Cerberus troopers. The Asar scattered and dispatched them in a whirlwind of justicar destruction. From both doors, Asari commandos rushed in and quickly cut-down all the Cerberus agents in the chamber. After a few seconds, there were no more enemies left to fight.

"Scans indicate that enemy forces around the crucible chamber are in full retreat." Said EDI.

"Good work, everyone." Said Shepard. "Secure the area and get medical attention if required."

"More reports coming in of total reaper destruction throughout the galaxy." Said Liara.

"Good." Shepard turned to the control panel. "It's time to deactivate this thing."

She turned to the transparent form of the catalyst. "Deactivate the crucible, except for life support and critical systems."

"Yes, commander Shepard."

The sound of systems powering down resounded throughout the chamber and the stream of green light representing Synthesis was deactivated. Shepard looked at the catalyst and was surprised he was still there. She had expected him to disappear when the power went off.

The catalyst stood for a moment. Then he smiled. "Goodbye commander Shepard."

Shepard smiled in return. No one else seemed to notice the catalyst had spoken to her.

Slowly the ghostly image of the boy faded away and disappeared.

"Goodbye, Casey." Shepard whispered. "And thankyou."


	16. The Fifth Way

16\. The Fifth Way

A few days later, Shepard was speaking to Admiral Hackett though the vid comm beside the Normandy's War Room.

"I read your report on the crucible, commander." Said Hackett. "We were fortunate that you were able to work out how to fire that thing. Even our best scientists involved in the construction project had no idea how to use it."

"The data was encrypted, sir." Said Shepard. "It was only possible to read it once the crucible was docked with the Citadel."

"It's just as well you activated it when you did. I don't think Hammer could have taken much more punishment." Said Hackett. "Casualties were high. But at least we decisively defeated the reapers. And it was all down to you commander."

"It was a team effort, admiral." Said Shepard. "The war was won by everyone who participated, sir. Both by those who are living, and by those who have died."

"Yes, Shepard." Hackett smiled. "I would expect you would say that."

"Has there been any report of reaper activity since the battle of London." Asked Shepard. She had wanted to say 'since Halloween', but decided to stick to the more conventional name given to the final military engagement which led to the defeat of the reapers.

"No commander." Said Hackett. "There have been no further reports of reaper activity since you activated the crucible."

Shepard knew this already from Liara whose agents had confirmed the same thing.

"Indications up to now suggest that the reapers have been totally destroyed." Continued Hackett. "The reapers in close proximity to a star when the energy pulses hit them were completely vaporised. Reapers that were disabled in space before you activated the crucible are nothing more than fragmented debris. Reaper remains that are exposed to the elements on planets and moons, such as the one you helped disable on Rannoch, are decaying rapidly. They're not coming back from this."

"Good to hear, admiral. But we must remain vigilant."

"I agree, commander." Hackett smiled. "You'll be glad to know that the new council has approved your request to set up a task force to investigate and exterminate reaper activity. You will receive official confirmation in the next few hours."

"Thankyou, admiral." Said Shepard. "I have already made contact with the Geth to request their assistance. They are immune to indoctrination and will be invaluable in securing and destroying any reaper artefacts and wreckage that we find."

"Some are still suspicious of the Geth after they went into league with Sovereign. But I approve your decision, commander. They have been a valuable asset since you brokered peace between them and the Quarians."

"Yes, admiral. It is ironic that a synthetic race could well sound the final death knell to the reaper threat once and for all."

"We will all need to work together if we want ensure that the reaper threat is eliminated for good," Said Hackett. "And to rebuild what was destroyed."

"How is the reconstruction going, admiral?

"Slowly, commander. But the biggest challenge is not the physical damage to installations and equipment. That can be rebuilt and repaired. It's the psychological damage to our people that is the most difficult to deal with." Said Hackett. "The reapers have left many people indoctrinated who cannot be easily reintegrated into society."

Shepard nodded. She had wondered herself how to deal with this problem. "How is the council planning to deal with it?"

"They have assigned a geneticist called Maelon Heplorn to research the problem." Said Hackett. "It appears he is working on a treatment that could reduce the effects of indoctrination."

"Maelon?" Said Shepard. She remembered that he was the Salarian geneticist who they found on Tuchanka trying to find a cure for the genophage. "But did the Salarians not object?"

"They tried to prevent Theplorn's appointment, but their influence with the council is diminished since they refused to send any help against the reapers. Krogan pressure pushed the appointment through."

"But why, Maelon?" Asked Shepard. "I wasn't aware he had done any work on the reapers."

"It appears that Mordin Solus arranged to send all his research data on the reapers to Maelon after his death." Said Hackett. "Apparently, Maelon claims that Mordin came to him in a dream and instructed him to continue his work. Can you believe it?"

"Incredible." Said Shepard, although she could very well believe it.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About half an hour later, Shepard entered the Starboard observation lounge. As expected, she found Samara sitting on the floor in a lotus position. Samara stood up to greet her.

"It is good to see you, commander Shepard."

"It is good to see you too, Samara."

"You wished to see me?" Said Samara.

"Yes, Samara. I just wanted to thank you for your timely intervention in the crucible chamber. If you had not arrived at that time, we could have been overrun."

"I am sure that you and your crew would have satisfactorily resolved the situation, as you always do."

"Maybe. Maybe not." Said Shepard. "But you undoubtedly saved some and perhaps all of my crew, and for that I am sincerely grateful."

Samara nodded in acknowledgement.

"I accept your gratitude, commander. But It is not only me you should thank." She said after a moment's pause.

"Yes, I am also greatly thankful to the Asari commandos who accompanied you." Said Shepard. "Their contribution was crucial to ending the battle quickly."

"Yes, the Asari commandos were of great assistance." Said Samara. "But I was not referring to them. I was referring to my daughter."

Shepard frowned with confusion. "You mean Falere?"

"No Shepard. Falere is still at the monastery on Lessus. I was referring to Morinth."

"Oh." Was all Shepard could say.

Samara looked at Shepard with intensity, as if trying to analyse her reaction. Shepard stood frozen to the spot in nervous silence.

"After the reapers left the Earth's surface, I engaged in meditation to refresh my spirit. "Said Samara. "During my meditation I had a vision of Morinth."

"Was it a pleasant vision?" Asked Shepard.

"No, it was very unpleasant. She subjected me to a tirade of spiteful recriminations and abuse."

"Oh." Shepard remembered how Morinth had said she was going to visit her mother. It seemed that she had not been joking.

"But through her vile insults, she also told me that you urgently needed assistance. In her words, she said that I should get my fat bulbous ass to the crucible right away if I wanted to save my precious Shepard."

Shepard kept her facial expression as rigid as possible.

"But that is not all." Said Samara. "She also said that you would make the reapers burn and would sweep them away like dust in the wind..."

Shepard remembered with a shiver that Harbringer had used these specific words before he was disintegrated by the Destroy pulse. Samara had not yet arrived in the chamber at that time.

"And she gloated that she had helped you find the Fifth Way." Continued Samara.

Samara stared intently at Shepard again. "You don't seemed surprised by all this, Shepard. Do you know what the Fifth Way is?"

After a moments reflection, Shepard decided that Samara deserved an honest answer after all she'd done.

"The Fifth Way is how I defeated the reapers." Said Shepard. "The catalyst told me to select one of four options. The Fifth Way is to choose all four."

"I see." Said Samara.

For a moment, the two women looked out the viewport.

"I know that Morinth did some terrible things in her life." Shepard eventually broke the silence. "But knowing her allowed me to understand the choices I needed to make and the person I wanted to be. Her influence helped me to defeat the reapers."

Deep in self-reflection, Samara looked out into space.

"Then I am glad that she brought some good to the world." She said.

The two women stood in silence again. The stars outside moved as the Normandy turned, giving the two women a view of the crucible, now detached from the Citadel, as it drifted alone in space.

"It is a pity we have to destroy the device that brought an end to the reapers." Said Samara.

"It's too dangerous." Said Shepard. She shivered at the thought of someone using it to destroy synthetics or impose synthesis on the galaxy.

"Yes. I suppose it is."

The blackness of space was illuminated for a moment as the crucible was blown into a billion pieces.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So we're all patched up and ready to go?" Said Kaiden

"Yup." Said Shepard. "We have a clean bill of health for both ship and crew. We can get back to action as soon as we want."

"So where next?"

"Nowhere for now." Said Shepard. "I think we deserve some extra R&R after what we've all been through."

"I'll look forward to that."

Kaiden kissed Shepard gently. They were both sitting on the bed in Shepard's quarters in off-duty fatigues.

"Especially after spending all my time on that damn report." Said Shepard.

"So did you mention in the report how you refused the catalyst's initial options?"

"No I left it out. I just concentrated on how I used the different capabilities of the crucible to defeat the reapers. Explaining why I defied the catalyst would be just too complex."

Shepard had told Kaiden, EDI and Liara how she had refused the catalyst's first three options. However, she hadn't included these details in her report to Hackett and had not told anyone about her interaction with the spirits of the dead. She didn't want everyone to think she was insane.

"So how did you know that the options could be changed?" Asked Kaiden. "You never really explained that."

"I just knew through my link with the catalyst." Said Shepard.

Kaiden gave her that look when he didn't believe she was being sincere. He knew her more than anyone. He knew she was hiding something.

"It's ok, commander." Kaiden said becoming more formal. "It's top secret. I know. I don't need to know."

They sat for a moment in silence. Shepard felt bad for Kaiden. She didn't like disappointing him, especially in personal matters.

Then she reflected to herself that perhaps she should tell someone. The memory of her interaction with the ghosts of her past still perturbed her mind. Perhaps she should get it off her chest. She loved and trusted Kaiden. If she couldn't tell Kaiden, who could she tell?"

"You're right." Said Shepard. "There is more."

Kaiden waited expectantly.

"When I was at the crucible, I collapsed and the vision of a boy who I saw die in Vancouver told me that he could help me defeat the reapers for good."

Shepard paused to see how Kaiden would react. She half expected him to burst out laughing. But he didn't.

"Go on." He said.

I had visions of other people I knew like Ash, Mordin, Thane and Legion. They gave me advice on defeating the reapers."

"Are you sure that it wasn't just your subconscious mind telling you what to do through memories of friends and colleagues?" Asked Kaiden.

Shepard shrugged.

"I don't know." She said. "You could be right. It could all be one big hallucination. But they told me things I didn't know. And it wasn't just friends and colleagues. I had visions of Morinth, Saren and Sovereign too."

"That can't have been pleasant."

"None of it was pleasant." Said Shepard remembering that the most traumatic encounter was with Ashley. "But it all helped me decide to reject the catalyst's offer and try another way."

"And how do you know for sure that the offer from the catalyst wasn't genuine?" Said Kaiden.

"I don't know that for sure either." Said Shepard. "They might have ended the reaper threat. But in the end, I made the right call. I didn't want to win on the reapers' terms. I wanted to win on mine. The catalyst's options would likely all lead to my death. I wanted to survive."

"To experience all the fame and glory." Kaiden smiled, cheekily.

Shepard hit him playfully.

"Hey! I don't just fight for fame and glory." She said. "I fight for other things too."

"Like what?" Kaiden was still smiling.

"Like honour and liberty."

"Oh, that's profound."

She hit him playfully again.

"And hugs and giggles." She pouted with feigned indignation.

"Now that's more like it." Said Kaiden, embracing her. "And what else?"

"And kisses, and gentle caresses" Shepard gave him a long prolonged kiss.

"And…" Kaiden said expectantly.

"And much, much more."

They embraced and kissed each other.

"So how would you like to proceed now, commander Shepard?" Asked Kaiden with a grin.

"Well, I think we should proceed with the fifth way, Major Alenko."

"The fifth way. That sounds intriguing. How does that go?"

"Well first you refuse your inhibitions." She kissed Kaiden gently on the lips.

"Sounds good."

"The I take control." Shepard swung herself onto Kaiden's lap and sat on his thighs facing him.

"No change there, then."

"And then we synthesise with each other." Shepard pushed Kaiden back on the bed and kissed him passionately.

The lights went out, leaving them in total darkness.

"And then..." Whispered Shepard.

There was the sound of clothing being ripped open.

"And then..?"

"And then there are several massive hot explosions."

Kaiden gasped.

"Oh my." He said. "I think I'm going to like this fifth way."

THE END


End file.
